Ok...Im pissed. Lets get this straight little boy. YOU do NOT control me. What I do. Who I see. Or where I go. We have made the deal that there will be no emotions involved. This is just sex. BUT you DONT call me. I will call you. I will not be used, I use you. Got it? Good. You arnt a man. I picked you as my fuck buddy because I knew I wouldnt ever fall in love with you. If you had a job, a car, a place, and werent an asshole. Maybe it would be different. But the fact of the matter is you don't and you are. Dont try to control me. I know I'm probably the first woman you've ever known, DONT YOU FUCKING DARE say you are falling in love with me. You don't know the meaning of the word. What you are feeling is someone other than your momma thinking you are cool. And to be honest? I dont even think that. Yeah its harsh, but you dropped the L bomb and I don't play games like that. You've known me for a week. GET OVER YOURSELF AND GROW A PAIR! Love doesnt happen in a week. You just found my trigger, and im gonna blow. You are DISGUSTING you son of a fucking bitch. I am NOT playing your mind game. I will fucking drop your ass if you so much as breathe such a damn lie again. Leave the "I love you" OUT of the bedroom. Got it? You dont have a fucking clue. I dont feel like that towards you or anyone else, except one person in this world and Im not WANTING or GOING TO START ANOTHER until I heal from him. GOT IT ASSWIPE. YOU agreed to the terms, of male fuck toy. I agreed to fuck around when I feel like it. I will not be a servant to a man again. You want me? Leave your lies out of it, and leave your lifes bullshit at the door because I DONT want to hear about it. Im not here to be your girlfriend, or best friend ITS SEX. Get it through your peanut of a brain if its even that big. If you cant handle it leave. Walk away. There are plenty of men in this world who want JUST SEX. Thats all Im after right now. I dont want a relationship, Im not ready for one. Im sorry to say I really dont care how you feel. Call me a bitch, but im just being honest. You treat girls like shit and your mad because you cant control me. Let me tell you something Romeo... Im not YOUR piece of ass...you are mine. I wont let you abuse me like you abused them. Try it just once and SEE where you end up. I FUCKING DARE YOU to try that shit with me. Ive been through enough in life and wont tolerate a mans bullshit anymore. Where I go is none of your business. If I fuck someone else IT DOESNT MATTER we ARE NOT "TOGETHER", Who I hang out with is not your concern. I have a LIFE...you should try and get one they are actually pretty nice. You heard I was submissive and thought Id be a shoo in for a punching bag? Think again loser. Submissive DOES NOT equal doormat. If I ever SUBMIT to a man. He has to EARN that and to be quite blunt about it...the only way any man is getting MY submission again is if there is a ring on my finger and I KNOW he isnt going anywhere. Now all that said. Do you understand? DONT ask questions, You have no right. I've said all you need to know. Can't handle me? Tough. Very few men can. Out of all the men that have trained me in sex and knowledge, NONE of them have been able to tame me. What makes you think you can? Mess with me once sweetie...just try. You'll be sorry. Thats not a threat. Its a promise. I AM NOT your ANYTHING. Try ANYTHING like this again and Im gone. Its not my loss its yours. You are easily replacable. -sighs- now I feel better. Yay. ok. Now going back to cleaning. Im cool... Im awsome. Im superchick bitches.
Does anyone really care about what we have to say here.... huh?
Why isnt anyone answering me?
HELLLOOOOO!!!!
.........................
.........................
.........................
.........................
I guess that means its not that important.
You do realize you just spent like 20 seconds reading a bunch of bull right?
Im still waiting for my answer...... is it really that important?
What am I referring to....... anything I guess.
Lets change the question...
Whats important to you?
I better get some answers.... I mean come on. I wasted 2 minutes writing this bullcrap and you read it....might as well leave a comment. Right?
hahahahaha
Maybe it is important. At least it is to me... otherwise I wouldnt be asking.
Ok so I bought me and the boy new laptops, with wireless mousse & a new all in one printer. I am getting the house set up for wireless and I upgraded my cell phone …I have everything tech I could ever need – at least for the next 3 yrs – I am on the road to becoming frugal again.
I am pondering applying for a new manger position that has come to my attention through our corporate offices in Dallas. I mean let’s put this degree to work shall we? I don’t know though….decisions……….. decisions……….I mean it will definitely mean a lot more traveling – but I can handle that with my new cell phone and laptop now right?!?!?!?! The pay increase might be nice – and the title – but I am not so sure about the culture – that is where I am struggling right now – will I fit in and be happy or will I end up being miserable and I am better off staying put for now……I haven’t quite decided…..
ANYWAY – GP PEEPS – that’s all I’ve got – I haven’t been hit with a good dose of inspiration recently – maybe it’s because everything has been so busy – but one hopefully will come along sooner rather later! Anyway – that’s all I got…for now anyway!
Yep, it's Keith's spring break for one whole week and my plans were to sleep in EVERY morning! Ah!!! to stretch out and lay in bed and read and work on poems....yes! So, this morning at 6:30, when I hadn't gotten up at my usual time one of the cats politely asked me to get out of bed and feed them. Well, that is if you consider throwing up on your bed polite! Dang! Talk about a rude awakening! So, of course, I had to get up and once the cats were fed I figured I might as well get online. And then I looked out the window at the beautiful morning sky and the birds flying across between the trees and suddenly I was so happy to be up this early while my husband still sleeps quietly and there is absolutely nothing I have to do except enjoy the moment. Here's hoping that today at least everyone finds that peaceful moment when all is right with the world and nothing matters but feeling happy to be alive.
There was definitely a knock on the door. Frank had seen the framed motivational poster, a beautiful photograph of an erupting volcano (with words to ruin it), rattle. Like rabid squirrels his eyes darted between the door and the drinks cabinet. He looked up at the clock in order to tell the time but knew there was something wrong when the numbers melted away into the blue of one of his toddler’s latest ‘The Sky is the Limit’ paintings. Digits six and nine combined, forming old-style goggles; seven and four molded into a suit of some sort. The sky turned that smoggy city morning brown, and the little figure in the picture, holding onto the strings of a red-striped parachute, spoke in a squeaky voice.
The time is now! The sky is the limit!
Someone was trying to force open the door. Frank nibbled at the congealed blood on his arm while back peddling towards the drinks cabinet, keeping his eyes on the door from behind which the voices were making threatening noises. He threw his jacket on the floor and held the fucked-up, half-full can of lighter fluid over his head. The liquid soaked his 100% Thai silk shirt— a second anniversary gift from mother-in-law.
There’s no time like the right time, Frank!
It was hard to tell exactly how many people there were at the door, but it sounded like a small army. Frank ignored the urgency in their voices and reached for the cigar box, which he kept behind a few expensive bottles of whiskey (for important business meetings only). The silver cigar box lid popped open and he took out a book of matches lying in the place where his Zippo had been before it was stolen. Frank decided it was time for a quick celebration. His hands were a bit clammy, and the wound on his left hand and wrist was throbbing where infection had already settled in a rusted-custard nest. He had trouble breaking the bottle cap seal, so Frank broke Johnny Walker’s neck against the window sill instead. He took a few gulps, and poured the rest over himself. He’d always loved how the pedestrians and cars down below in the streets resembled ants at work— it looked even better now through blurry eyes, and there seemed to be a lot more hustle than usual.
It was lunch time.
They were kicking at the door now, and Frank saw that someone had splintered the hard wood on the inside by ramming a crowbar through the door. And there he stood, Frank Miller, with tears rolling down his cheeks. He wasn’t sure if he was crying or if it had been the mix of alcohol and lighter fluid that was making his eyes water; he felt no emotion— not a drop. Frank lit a match and opened the window with flaming hands. He stood on his toes and listened as his eyebrows sizzled. Frank removed Zelda’s latest painting, pulled it over his head, and tore the sky apart.
Here I am standing at the bus stop with a 20 minute wait after just missing the last one lol
What a perfect time for a random blog....
The sky is blue the sun is shining but its cold
SO
My face is warm but my ass is cold lol
I was late leaving home because I am addicted to my webcam
Chuck kept saying "go on now go to work" lol
I can be so stubbourn sometimes....I almost phoned in sick so I could watch him sleep
I want to thank sooooo many people for being happy for us
And GP itself for being here
We both have found our soulmate on this site *sigh*
Matt and I just got a staff pick for our semi-popular collaboration "Lebowski'isms." We did a lot of better collabs, I suppose that one just leavened the mood that was fairly heavy and passionate from the other poems. Anyways, this is my first staff pick and I is very excite in instance of now. So excite, grammar of mine is deteriorate. Yarghhhhh.
Read this poem by Matt. He put a lot of work into it and it's not getting the reception it duly deserveth.
Frank looked up when he thought he’d heard a knock at the door; Marcia usually brought his lunch at one O’clock sharp. Well, she used before he decided to break things off; before Emma had caught them in a peculiar position with the tent flap open on a breezy October afternoon not more than ten minutes’ drive from the family cabin where they were supposed to celebrate Zelda’s birthday. Frank remembered his excuse from his only child’s birthday party like yesterday: I need fresh air. Asshole. Nobody says that; phrases like that are reserved for Woody Allen movies. He might as well have said ‘excuse me for half-an-hour or so, I’m just gonna go and fuck my secretary up the ass in her father’s redneck caravan park’.
It was twelve-fifty four.
When his accidental high faded (as all cheap thrills eventually do), Frank realized that there hadn’t been a knock on the door after all. He looked down to where the sound was coming from and saw that he had been using his desk drawer as a makeshift vice grip in order to hold in place the lighter fluid can against the overhanging lip of the desk top. There was split-second when he felt that he had lost control of his body; the knuckles on his left hand looked like they were about to pop, and there was no feeling in the hand as he drove the letter opener, held like grotesque metal finger between fore- and middle fingers, into the top part of the tin.
It was twelve-fifty nine.
Frank dropped the letter opener on the floor. The blunt tip of the blade pegged into the Persian rug under his feet, and a sharp pain shot through his hand. The warm sensation of blood trickling down his forearm made him look at an open wound where the sharp edges of broken tin had gnawed away at his skin and flesh. He could see his wrist bone, and a piece of skin flapped like the broken wing of some diseased-ridden bird in the desert. Frank wrapped his lips around the wound; he grimaced when the tip of his tongue touched the bone but the taste of blood made him feel better.
Isn't it amazing how so much can change in such a short time? How emotions come and go, but love always stays? Even when you wish it wouldnt. It never matters how badly someone treats you, or if they walk away and leave you alone. Your love for them can't change, no matter what they do or have done. Real love is unconditional. Irrevocable even.
I sit here, on this bridge, in the sun, listening to the waterfall behind me, and the mini rapids beneath me and know fear and worry don't belong, but I still feel the sadness of my world without him. I still feel the ache, still see his face, but the brutal pain is beginning to fade, and I'm accepting. He was never mine. I have no choice but to let him go. If he doesnt think of me, he doesnt care, and if he doesnt care then I'm only hurting myself reliving every memory every moment, and wishing.
It's so hard sitting here. seven years ago I sat in this same spot feeling so much different then I do right now. seve years ago I was innocent, pure, so naive, dancing with my friends without a care, not worried about heartbreak or a career. I was such a child at fourteen despite what I had gone through. Its amazing how a single year can change someone so drastically, If a year can do as much as it has, SEVEN years was a lifetime ago.
The memories are like ghosts. I swear I can actually see my fourteen year old self with my fourteen year old friends as we all were then. Such girls, life was so much simpler. Running along this same bridge shreiking, giggling, and laughing, reinacting the sound of music in the gazebo so horribly off key, and playing a middle schoolers version of truth or dare on the dock. It brings such sad smiles to know we all changed so much, some of us even seperated from each other. Innocence was lost along the way and hardness filled the space. A bitter logic that defies fairytales.
But, as adults do we really ever GIVE UP our dreams of love? Or do we just push them to the back of our minds and tell ourselves that we wont ever have what we want most, then make ourselves BELIEVE it so we dont get hurt when that next man leaves? Then tell everyone around us that we dont believe in it so they dont come close?
Is that really how we want to live? In fear, anger, or sadness? Why don't we love like there is no tomorow? Yeah it HURTS when it ends. but to those of you who have loved completely too...when it ended did you EVER say you regretted it? NO! Because when you love you CANT regret it. Stay OPEN even though it's HARD. Guard your heart, but not to the point where you are keeping everyone out. YES, keeping everyone out ensures you wont get hurt, BUT it also ensures that you will NEVER recieve YOUR greatest dream. RISKS are the only way to truly live AND love. There would be no fast food, or restraunts, namebrand clothes, or music varieties if someone out there didnt take a risk. How is love or life any different? WHY NOT let go of the bitterness and hatred? What do you have to lose if you have nothing to live for? So you'll get hurt a few times, and it SUCKS, but the memories made make you look back after the pain and YOU WILL SMILE! And be stronger. The world is hard and yes it is messed up. WHY NOT dare to be different? Why not give what the world seems to not have? MAKE A RIPPLE! Well.... WHY NOT?
Ive been back on for a week and NO ONE is ever on, and my comments have been next to none. Lol. Where did you all go? Geez. Its lonely on here. Wheres my family? I misses yall. -pouts-
Yes... Im pouting. I miss Jenna and Libby greatly. I need yalls sense of humor in my life. Lmao.
And the rest of you crazies that are my gp fam....where you guys at?
Ive been watching season 6 of Desperate housewives. Yes. I am a fan. LOL
I had missed some other seasons so I decided to catch up. Well Im all caught up now. Jeez that Dave in Season 5.... What a (insert real bad word here)...
Anyways. After the season 5 finale and reading something online I had a thought..... I wrote it down and Im sharing it with you guys.
I know alot of people will bash me for this one ( maybe not on here but in the back of their minds they will be thinking.. what a bitch... yeah I know I am ) Im not trying to offend anyone. Im just saying its something worth thinking about.
Ok here it is....
People always ask themselves
"Will I ever find love?"
Some search in silence
while others scream
that they dont want to be alone
What does it mean to "find" love?
You walk down the street
and there it is
on the ground
like a lost dollar bill?
If love is something to be found
and not something to be earned
then I dont think I want it
You dont just love to love
you love someone for a reason
you have to work to deserve someones love
To keep their love
Finding love.....
Chasing love.....
Why put so much effort into something
that is supposed to find you
Hey love
Heres an idea
Next time you take a walk
Look down and find me on the ground
Pick me up for a change
Im not going to look
I never was the kind to look
I sure wont start now
No time to waste energy
No use in turning around wondering
"Could he be the one?"
Looking for love....
I had love given to me
You should not work hard to FIND love
You should work hard to RECIEVE love
People always ask themselves
"Will I ever find love?"
When they should be asking themselves
"Do I deserve it?"
----------------------
So anyone call me a bitch yet??? LMAO
Now let me say something. Some of you may think EVERYONE DESERVES LOVE.... dont get me wrong. Love is important to everyone but to me there is a difference between needing and deserving something.
Lets take the lottery. Someone has a huge amount of money in savings and a nice big house thats paid off and they hit the jackpot.
Do they need it? Well, obviously not. Do they deserve it?
No... why should they. They have money. Now if you take that situation and add a sick family member and think about the costs they have coming there way and they are good people. Id say they deserve it.
Scenario number two.
A family has low income, no money and an old house that needs some major work done. They hit the jackpot. They need it. Everyone knows. Do they deserve it. Sure, why not? They are barely making it.
But now.... some facts that you didnt know before. These people do things that arent good. They hurt others, manipulate, use, lie, cheat... just so they can feel better about themselves.
So... do they deserve it? Sorry for being a bitch but hell no they dont.
Now if you dont see where Im going yet then let me break it down to you.
Just because it appears that someone might need something, doesnt mean they truly deserve it.
Love is like winning the lottery. Some people get lucky when it seems they didnt need it and others get lucky when its obvious they need it but dont deserve it because of things they have done or are doing.
If it were up to me of course everyone would be loved. Shit.. Im a big lover. Who am I to say something about loving but heres how I see it.
Some people just dont deserve something as pure as love. I am aware that these people are the ones who NEED it the most but thats exactly what my prose is about. The difference between need and deserving love.
Everyone needs love. Everyone wants to be loved. Not everyone can love and not everyone deserves to be loved. Yepp... I am a bitch but Im happy with it.
I think this (mean??) simple fact of life/love is why Im not lonely. I know I deserve love but I dont really need it. At least not in the form of a partner. I have family and friends who love me. More important I have Josh. My son gives me all the love I need right now.
Someday Ill be lonley. Eventually Ill reach a point where Im ready to let someone in again but right now. Knowing that I deserve love is enough for me.
Why should I look for love when I have the purest of love with me everyday? I have Josh... and I have Jesus!!!
Haha.... yay me!
Anyways. Whoever wants to lash out at me..... go for it. I dont care. In my opinion the only way someone would be mad about my message is because they feel they dont deserve love and its like a smack in the face.
There are times when we can say someone does or doesnt deserve love (like in the lottery examples) but when it comes down to it there is only ONE person who can say for sure. And thats you.
So answer me this
Do you think you deserve love?
And if you do.... are you able to love unconditionally? I mean... thats what love is supposed to be. Unconditional. Right? Just because someone you love does something wrong doesnt mean you dont love them anymore. It just means you cant be with them anymore (depending on what the situation is).
If you are looking for love and you realize you deserve it and you know why you deserve it... I think dealing with being alone will become an easy thing. At least it is for me. Once I let go of all the mushy thoughts and feeling like I needed love and asked myself this question.... it got so much easier. Im not looking. I dont need to. Im not saying love will come knocking on my door (although it did once... seriously) all im saying is there are some things that need to be done before love. I was always ready for love. I am ready for love. Im just not ready to recieve it because I know I cant give it back... at least not the same way.
Not now anyway.
Who would have thought being alone is a major confidence booster. LOL
In my case. Ive loved, Ive learned and moved on. I will always learn... im just hoping that next time I learn from love... it will be less painful. Im tired of drama. I HATE drama. So this is what I think. I need the ME time to make sure next time I dont missjudge who I want the WE time with.
I think I spend to much time thinking ..... (do you get the joke in that line)
Great news! A local gallery has begun to sell my books and framed art: http://www.jackhuber.com/locations.htm. We are also planning a book signing there to to correspond with the Spring release of my upcoming book.
.:: Home
:: Poems
:: Workshop Forums :: Register
:: Features
::.
Membership:
Latest: cozemo616
New Today: 4
New Yesterday: 6
Overall: 10077
Members: 2
Visitors: 189
Staff: 0
- Use an RSS reader to stay up to date with the latest news and posts from GotPoetry.
You can syndicate other parts of our site using the following files:
Inside
Community
Reference
Communication
Im cool... Im awsome. Im superchick bitches.
and hugs
I misses yall. -pouts-
