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i have a very quick temper and i'm quick to speak my mind, which is not always a good thing, and i often find myself backtracking and apologizing for my rash behavior. one thing i've found to be helpful is to spend a few minutes every morning finding a quote to base my day off of and to refer to when i'm feeling stressed or negative. it gives me something to focus on and helps keep me grounded. this is one of my faves from Ray Bradbury:
"If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down."
I've come to realize that I have some social anxiety issues that haven't really been as apparent prior to recently - either that or I just didn't give any consideration to them. Earlier tonight for example I went out with my older cousin who is in from Hawaii for vacation here in Tennessee with us to an upscale Japanese restaurant that was extremely crowded. The entire time I was there I felt uncomfortable and looked forward to getting back to some seclusion away from the masses of people. I don't have anything against individual people - I just dislike having to be around people more than necessary. It's not that I'm intentionally anti-social, I just don't care for most people unless I'm drunk and then it can be rather entertaining. My introversion at times can take the best of me - especially if I am out of my comfort zones.
I mention all of the above because I'd certainly like you to understand that you aren't the only individual who struggles with attempting to stay positive at times. Some authors I'd recommend to help "center" you would be Parker Palmer (who is extremely comforting to me when I feel an incessant need to want to stab stupid people), Thomas Merton, Thomas Keating, and many others that have helped give me some peace as well as discovering Lectio Divina (all of my spiritual works I've written comes from practicing Lectio Divina) and Centering prayer.
One work off the top of my head I would highly recommend is a beautiful and wonderful work I read back in college called: "Dakota: A Spiritual Geography" by Kathleen Norris (see: http://www.amazon.com/Dakota-Spiritual-Geography-Kathleen-Norris/dp/0618127240/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1340413206&sr=1-2&keywords=Dakota). It is a biographical work about a poet (Kathleen Norris) and her husband who move from New York City to a desolate tiny hamlet in South Dakota and must re-discover herself and her priorities and understandings in life.
Anyway, I hope you are well.
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