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Forums > > Poetry Workshops > > Post a poem > > Deep
Deep
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jessaroo And for a moment, it was like joy was


Joined: Jul 13, 2004 Posts: 1906 Credits: 53

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Posted: Sat Aug 21 18:42:21 EDT 2004 Post subject: Deep |
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Author's note:
Please, no one take this the wrong way. I am not pointing a finger at anyone. This is just my personal view. If you hate it, I'm sorry, but don't take it personally.
.....
i am tired of deep poetry
i am tired of poetry
for which i need a dictionary
to try to understand a bunch of stanzas
that probably make no sense at all
i am tired of poetry
about depression
suicide
and rape
as well as subjects that stem from
or are related to
any or all of the above
i am tired of poetry
that talks about how terrible life is
and how terrible love is
and how terrible God is
and how terrible that cab driver
that made you pay an extra $1.13 is
i am tired of poetry
that makes me feel empty inside
because poetry should not make you feel empty inside
it should fill you up
perhaps i am just too bubbly
or too optimistic
i am the cheerleader of the poetry world
and perhaps that is my downfall
but i like surface poetry!
i like poetry about love
and that warm tingly feeling you get when you're in love
i like poetry about nature
and the beauty of the stars and the sky and the trees
i like poetry about anything
just so long as it makes me feel the way it should
content
perhaps i am just too shallow
or too happy for "real" poetry
but Lord Almighty
i am tired of deep poetry
_________________ i wish we could open our eyes
to see in all directions at the same time
oh what a beautiful view
if you were never aware
of what was around you
and it is true what you said
that i live like a hermit in my own head |
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Humanicide Site Curator



Joined: Apr 09, 2004 Posts: 4118 Credits: 70 Location: my head mostly

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Posted: Sat Aug 21 21:24:46 EDT 2004 Post subject: Re: Deep |
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i love this poetic statement mainly because i write some deep poetry
and some depressing, anti - religious, rape filled, hate filled poetry. i know what you mean about reading and feeling empty because i am the opposite. if have a shitty day, i write a depressing poem, i feel better or full or just have gotten it out and am less bothered from venting it to the page. i also like love poetry and nature poetry, i just don't make as much of a connection to the subject matter if it is positive as opposed to a poem about swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills or how i am a puppet in a meat carnival of this dog eat dog society.
you portrayed your views clearly and i like the very blunt and obvious opening lines.
and on the subject of needing a dictionary, at least once you read the poem and look the word up, you've learned something new.
(and this is me being a smartass)
or....
maybe this in itself is, in fact, a deep poem.
the "deep poetry" you hate could be people that are deep.
you only like people that wear their feelings and are easily read.
im just kidding 
don't kill me
well..
actually please, please do kill me.
hehe
but really i do like your poem. it is a very honest work of your feelings and if anyone is litteraly offended by this poem, they have to realize that it is your opinion and that it is just a poem.
keep up the good work
-humanicide
_________________
...my mind is currently under construction...
"...as bad as i am i'm proud of the
fact that i'm worse than i seem..." A. Difranco |
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jessaroo And for a moment, it was like joy was


Joined: Jul 13, 2004 Posts: 1906 Credits: 53

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Posted: Sun Aug 22 6:15:08 EDT 2004 Post subject: Re: Deep |
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Thank you!
As for the idea of me not liking deep people, this is probably true, but not quite. I like people with deep ideas, deep meaning in their lives. I mean, really, one of my favorite subjects in the world is philosophy, so clearly I don't have a problem with deep.
I just have a problem with people who think they're deep or who try too hard to be deep or who just think that their life is such absolute crap when in reality they have it super easy.
People like that I dislike.
But thanks again for your comments! I like to know people actually read my work. 
_________________ i wish we could open our eyes
to see in all directions at the same time
oh what a beautiful view
if you were never aware
of what was around you
and it is true what you said
that i live like a hermit in my own head |
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yannimo Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.


Joined: May 10, 2004 Posts: 570 Credits: 1

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Posted: Tue Aug 24 20:54:07 EDT 2004 Post subject: Re: Deep |
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| jessaroo wrote: |
I just have a problem with people who... just think that their life is such absolute crap when in reality they have it super easy.
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Jessaroo,
I totally feel you on the poem and sometimes, I have to admit, I feel very negatively about my life when I should be feeling completely blessed. I want to become more positive about things, but sometimes I just don't. And that is where Humanicide's comment about feeling better when you write down all of that negative stuff down and seeing some of it on that paper instead of in yourself, kicks in. But for the most part, reading about depressing things for a long while sometimes leaves me little annoyed and wanting some relief, like reading things about the seasons and things about beauty. I guess everything has it's place.
Well see ya later!
byebye 
_________________ Time and space are but physiological colors which the eye makes, but the soul is light. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Last edited by yannimo on Wed Aug 25 9:46:32 EDT 2004; edited 1 time in total |
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natey The Chief Troublemaker


 
Joined: Jul 04, 1998 Posts: 6228 Credits: 20 Location: Thrifty Chicken Super Center

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Posted: Wed Aug 25 1:02:58 EDT 2004 Post subject: Re: Deep |
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| jessaroo wrote: |
Thank you!
As for the idea of me not liking deep people, this is probably true, but not quite. I like people with deep ideas, deep meaning in their lives. I mean, really, one of my favorite subjects in the world is philosophy, so clearly I don't have a problem with deep.
I just have a problem with people who think they're deep or who try too hard to be deep or who just think that their life is such absolute crap when in reality they have it super easy.
People like that I dislike.
But thanks again for your comments! I like to know people actually read my work.  |
You know, jessaroo, I am convinced you snuck into my house and talked to me in my sleep, in regards to deep poetry, because I completely agree, and you took the words right out of my mouth. (I have been saying that a lot lately!!!).
I really find it difficult to admire poetry that is just too damned deep. I mean, I have gotten some deep poetry down on page before, no doubt, but I try to keep it deep with a sense of lightness so that on the outside its just silly, but on the inside, when you really look at it, its actually pretty intense. Try to do that whole dychotomy thing.
If that makes any sense.
So really, honestly, I agree.
But, if it really was you that broke into my house last night, and left chocolate flavored jell-o pudding gelatin in my fridge, thanks.

_________________ Wow. I'm smoking my own shit. - Steve Martin |
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jessaroo And for a moment, it was like joy was


Joined: Jul 13, 2004 Posts: 1906 Credits: 53

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Posted: Wed Aug 25 16:39:18 EDT 2004 Post subject: Re: Deep |
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| natey wrote: |
You know, jessaroo, I am convinced you snuck into my house and talked to me in my sleep, in regards to deep poetry, because I completely agree, and you took the words right out of my mouth. (I have been saying that a lot lately!!!).
I really find it difficult to admire poetry that is just too damned deep. I mean, I have gotten some deep poetry down on page before, no doubt, but I try to keep it deep with a sense of lightness so that on the outside its just silly, but on the inside, when you really look at it, its actually pretty intense. Try to do that whole dychotomy thing.
If that makes any sense.
So really, honestly, I agree.
But, if it really was you that broke into my house last night, and left chocolate flavored jell-o pudding gelatin in my fridge, thanks.
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natey, you're awesome. I think we think exactly alike. Which is a little scary, but mostly it's just really cool.
I totally agree with your ideas on how to correctly write deep poetry. I too have written stuff that has deep meaning, but I make it subtle, the kind of deep that you have to really contemplate. I like to put the idea out there and leave it, let the reader take it where they want. I don't like the idea of putting something out there and then practically forcing the reader to think a certain way. We all have our own imaginations, we should be allowed to use them.
And trust me, natey, if I had broken into your house last night, I would've been the one who ate the chocolate flavored jell-o. 
_________________ i wish we could open our eyes
to see in all directions at the same time
oh what a beautiful view
if you were never aware
of what was around you
and it is true what you said
that i live like a hermit in my own head |
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natey The Chief Troublemaker


 
Joined: Jul 04, 1998 Posts: 6228 Credits: 20 Location: Thrifty Chicken Super Center

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Posted: Thu Aug 26 1:17:28 EDT 2004 Post subject: Re: Deep |
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| Quote: |
And trust me, natey, if I had broken into your house last night, I would've been the one who ate the chocolate flavored jell-o.  |
Oh no?
Then why are there toe prints in my butter?!
HMMMM?????
HHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?????
hrmph.
-Natey
_________________ Wow. I'm smoking my own shit. - Steve Martin |
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jessaroo And for a moment, it was like joy was


Joined: Jul 13, 2004 Posts: 1906 Credits: 53

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Posted: Fri Aug 27 13:14:50 EDT 2004 Post subject: Re: Deep |
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I can't keep up this facade!
Yes, natey, I broke into your house and whispered sweet nothings about deep poetry into your ear while you slept. And then I made you chocolate flavored jell-o, because I love you.
Consider yourself stalked.
_________________ i wish we could open our eyes
to see in all directions at the same time
oh what a beautiful view
if you were never aware
of what was around you
and it is true what you said
that i live like a hermit in my own head |
|
Karma: 151.00 
Back to top |
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