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Keveen Hey, my rank changed!


Joined: Aug 31, 2009 Posts: 13 Credits: 0 Location: Derby,England

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Posted: Mon Aug 31 17:44:17 EDT 2009 Post subject: Voices |
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I heard the tinkling voices then,
Whispering with glee.
Excited little chattering
That seeked some sport with me.
They said that I had lost my mind,
My heart was stolen, gone.
That babbling, teasing little sound
Got louder and went on.
And all the other noises
That will make a forest's song,
Were drowned out by the cackling
Of the scornful fairy throng.
They called that I was lost, a fool,
Those mocking elfin sprites,
And capered oft from branch to branch,
Hopping with delight.
I smiled, indulged their fancies
And endured along the path,
And every stone did taunt my love,
And every bush did laugh.
But as I reached the stile again,
The voices semed to go;
The teasing was the peaceful brook,
The sneers, cow's gentle low,
Accusing eyes, the sun's warm face,
The jeering, magpie's bill.
I turned and touched my cap to them
And went, on fuller still.
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mamta Been here longer than 3 servers ago.



Joined: Jul 07, 2006 Posts: 5512 Credits: 461 Location: sand dunes

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Posted: Thu Sep 10 7:08:59 EDT 2009 Post subject: Re: Voices |
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Some great images here, Keveen.
_________________ Play your tunes here at Lyricist's Lounge and Check out the Art Studio |
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Keveen Hey, my rank changed!


Joined: Aug 31, 2009 Posts: 13 Credits: 0 Location: Derby,England

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Posted: Thu Sep 10 7:22:00 EDT 2009 Post subject: Re: Voices |
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Thanks,that means a lot.Everyone on here've sent very encouraging comments to this nervy newbie
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idkwaguni1 Has the Poetry Bug


Joined: Mar 31, 2009 Posts: 43 Credits: 4

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Posted: Sat Sep 12 12:07:28 EDT 2009 Post subject: Re: Voices |
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i like how u make everything so imaginable i agree with mamta i like how its a litttle semi story within its good
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Disfrazada Intrigued


Joined: Sep 14, 2009 Posts: 9 Credits: 0

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Posted: Wed Sep 16 8:30:47 EDT 2009 Post subject: Re: Voices |
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Keveen, I love the flow of this poem. I also think the imagery is great.
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fogglethorpe Told love the world was on fire


                  
Joined: Jan 15, 2008 Posts: 2461 Credits: 232 Location: Valley of the Sun

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Posted: Tue Sep 29 11:48:21 EDT 2009 Post subject: Re: Voices |
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A very well written and whimsical piece.
Would you consider breaking it into quatrains? That would make it even more readable, in my opinion.
_________________ Emo vampires are stupid. |
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lash570 "I'm not mad. I'm just PISSED OFF!"


  
Joined: Aug 30, 2008 Posts: 4349 Credits: 29 Location: east of the hood, west of sherwood

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Posted: Mon Oct 19 1:32:38 EDT 2009 Post subject: Re: Voices |
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enchanting---------------------
near wycombe, bucks-----
derbyshire has an art school there
_________________ no muse is bad news |
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thinkingsam Knows how to edit


Joined: Mar 17, 2009 Posts: 80 Credits: 0

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poetryqueen Has the Poetry Bug


Joined: Oct 27, 2009 Posts: 23 Credits: 6 Location: Guernsey

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Posted: Wed Oct 28 7:17:22 EDT 2009 Post subject: Re: Voices |
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Really good images created here.
Thanks for the read becky
_________________ Have fun and keep writing zzzz |
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Heera Has the Poetry Bug


Joined: Nov 03, 2009 Posts: 20 Credits: 4 Location: Columbus, OH

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Posted: Wed Nov 4 21:57:40 EST 2009 Post subject: Re: Voices |
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This flowed really well. I agree that breaking it up may make it an easier read, but I quite enjoyed this poem. The rhyme and rhythm worked well.
_________________ Alas, all of yesterday's wisdoms are but whispers in the fallout. |
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Beauty_In_Pain Knows how to edit


Joined: Jul 21, 2009 Posts: 118 Credits: 8 Location: Online

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Posted: Wed Nov 4 22:28:05 EST 2009 Post subject: Re: Voices |
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Really well put together. I enjoyed it a great deal.
_________________ "The mind is it's own place, and in it one can make a hell of heaven or a heaven of hell'' |
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