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Forums > > Poetry Workshops > > Love Poetry > > So You Think You Know Me
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So You Think You Know Me


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pixietude
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 15 16:19:45 EST 2011    Post subject: So You Think You Know Me Reply with quote

So You Think You Know Me?

So you think you know me,
the woman that girl became,
but this life,
this stain,
runs deep.

Are you sure,
real sure?
Don’t hesitate,
my heart is open now,
wanting
and needing.
Taking another chance.

Still all romance
and fate
and happy endings.
Still that girl,
in class,
head in space,
dreaming of the guy
she could love this completely --
be utterly crazy over.

The one who would see her
and only her.
The one who could ‘handle’ her,
take the intensity,
(you say that like it’s a bad thing).
The one who would love the intensity
and hold on
forever.

So…
You think you know me?
Know my fears,
my doubts,
my weaknesses,
the things I dare not even ink?

Do you?
Well, you’d better be sure
because I’ve been through this before
and I’m telling you now
I’ve got nothing to hide.

If you ask
I’ll tell
and if it’s too much
it’s just as well
that I find out before I’m in too deep.

Damn, it’s too late.

11 February 2011

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Deleted_User_4811
Who knew we would get this far?


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 15 23:40:48 EST 2011    Post subject: Re: So You Think You Know Me Reply with quote

Hi Pixietude..

This reads like a diary entry.

No offense intended..but it sounds like something that has been said over and over in romantic comedies and the like.

This kind of poem, since it addresses very common emotions, must reinvent the wheel, unfortunately. And that is hard to do.
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pixietude
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 16 23:43:01 EST 2011    Post subject: Re: So You Think You Know Me Reply with quote

So I'm not tragically unique? I hate that.

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pixietude
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 16 23:50:01 EST 2011    Post subject: Re: So You Think You Know Me Reply with quote

I hate being common. look at "Let me get this straight"

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 18 14:56:52 EST 2011    Post subject: Re: So You Think You Know Me Reply with quote

pixietude wrote:
So I'm not tragically unique? I hate that.

I'm not saying that. My comments were not personal..they were only about the poem.

I like a lot of your other work.
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electrictiger
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Told love the world was on fire
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 18 22:31:14 EST 2011    Post subject: Re: So You Think You Know Me Reply with quote

I do agree with F here. I did like these lines:

but this life,
this stain,
runs deep.

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pixietude
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 29 2:35:14 EST 2011    Post subject: Re: So You Think You Know Me Reply with quote

Fogglethorpe, I wasn't really offended, just illuminated. I believe that sometimes the problem with poets is that we think that only we have felt "this deeply" or examined things "this closely". I suppose that it is these feeling that compell us to write. But you are correct in saying that just because one expresses emotion, it is not automatically poetic. Smile

Thanks for your honest feedback.

Oh, and I have to add that I was quite put off today when my daughter was listening to a Kelly Clarkson song that said, "So you think that you know me, know me, now you're leaving me lonely, lonely, but you don't know a thing about me, you don't know a thing about me."

That chick stole my line!! lol

Pix

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ytserresty
Has written an Occasional poem or two.


Has written an Occasional poem or two.



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PostPosted: Thu Dec 1 15:01:35 EST 2011    Post subject: Re: So You Think You Know Me Reply with quote

I enjoyed reading this one... although I agree with what fogglethorpe said... the poem becomes monotonous at the latter parts...

Still, I enjoyed reading it... to me, that's what really matters Wink

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abdo11
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Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.



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PostPosted: Mon Jul 8 17:10:44 EDT 2013    Post subject: Re: So You Think You Know Me Reply with quote

very good poem
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Deleted_User_5129
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30 7:41:51 EDT 2013    Post subject: Re: So You Think You Know Me Reply with quote

No I don't know you, but this poem is a little too long for me, can you cut it short?
Say should I know you to speak up?
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Ozymandias
Told love the world was on fire


Told love the world was on fire
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 2 22:42:27 EDT 2013    Post subject: Re: So You Think You Know Me Reply with quote

I think the poem could be substantially pruned and would gain in strength from such pruning.

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