morning, January 1

wordsmithwannabe

The streets are quiet, finally.
Hopes and dreams litter the sidewalk
alongside beer bottles and party favors,
neglected clichés clinging to one another
as I sweep them all away.

Ozymandias

A fine piece Chris. Just one question - What are party favors? It's a term I am not familiar with.

wordsmithwannabe

thanks Rory. party favors are typically noisemakers or hats and such that are worn at parties or celebrations. they are also slang for certain drugs and the paraphernalia associated with them; also a slang term for condoms.

i live in a fairly nice neighborhood, but there are some questionables down the street who drifted up my way on New Year's Eve, hence the double meaning for the "party favors" reference...

electrictiger

Oh, I like this a lot. It's just fine as is. I sort of like 'dreams' by itself without 'hopes', but only sort of. Excellent, and curiously sad.

wordsmithwannabe

i tried it without the 'hopes' and it just didn't seem cliché enough hehe >.<
i think i'll leave it as is for now. also, rawr.

thinkingsam

That's a lot of sadness in a short piece... The last line was a very nice revelation of who the narrator is.

mamta · Joined: Jul 07, 2006 Posts: 8354 Credits: 501

aches with sadness. clearing the clutter. nice one. perfect as it is.

wordsmithwannabe

thinkingsam wrote:

That's a lot of sadness in a short piece... The last line was a very nice revelation of who the narrator is.

thank you sam Very Happy

wordsmithwannabe

mamta wrote:

aches with sadness. clearing the clutter. nice one. perfect as it is.

yep, clearing the clutter is exactly right. thanks.

fogglethorpe

So perfect and concise. Why have you not made it permanent? It's great.

wordsmithwannabe

thanks H. to be honest, i'd forgotten about this little ditty, lost in my whirlwind of work and more work...been a bit busy lately and haven't been able to devote my attention to the things i love. i'll post it today.