Direction towards you

Ozymandias

Hot summer days:
driving home
across the Western Plain

chasing the gold
of countless sunsets
in vain

memories of you
crashing through my windscreen
again and again

electrictiger

The last stanza is especially powerful, and a really great image.

wordsmithwannabe

seems no matter how hard we try, those sunsets are always out of reach...nicely penned, Rory. and i agree with the cat, the last stanza is incredible.

Ozymandias

wordsmithwannabe wrote:

seems no matter how hard we try, those sunsets are always out of reach...nicely penned, Rory. and i agree with the cat, the last stanza is incredible.

Thanks Chris. The last stanza is clearly the best - makes me wonder whether I should try to do something with S1 and S2. In S1, "driving home" is rather weak, I might look for some improvement there.

wordsmithwannabe

hmm, i don't see it as weak at all. it sets the tone for the rest of the poem. as i read it, the narrator is heading home, to the "you" of the title and final stanza. the concept of "home=you" can be a very romantic and powerful thing...

Ozymandias

wordsmithwannabe wrote:

hmm, i don't see it as weak at all. it sets the tone for the rest of the poem. as i read it, the narrator is heading home, to the "you" of the title and final stanza. the concept of "home=you" can be a very romantic and powerful thing...

Not quite as I meant it - the narrator (in my imagination) is heading home, but the "you" is a "you" of memories by which he is beset, hence the last stanza "memories of you".

wordsmithwannabe

ahhh i see, my apologies for missing that point. i need better reading glasses. or a fresher brain.

at any rate, i still think the part that you question fits nicely with the rest of the poem. just my two cents Wink

Ozymandias

OK, I think I will post it now. I think I will change L2 to "driving through distance". Also I am going to change the title to "Directionless" (yes I know it's a bit of an about face). Thanks for the comments!