.

life comes
and life goes
it holds you
in it and throws

.

Methinks I detect an mystery, maybe it is intentional. Apparent contradiction between holding and throwing. Could be resolved by changing "and" to "then" if that fits your meaning. I might also consider dropping "it" from the last line.

ozzy - thanks for your insightful comments & suggestions.


i had considered all the options in regards to the placements and inclusions of "and"; "then" and "it". for the reason of wanting to emphasise the 'mysterious contradiction' of holding us in its clutches while at the same time throwing us around - and i settled on what i posted.

i dont feel entirely comfortable that the trade off of trying to make the emphasis, is matched by the intended reward.

i know how you feel. i shall ruminate & cogitate and revert. perhaps others have some input too?

a preferred (more zen) option for me may be :

.

life comes
life goes
it holds you
in it's throws

.


hmmmmmm....?


thanks!




ps. oh, unless you happen to be a cat. then life just "is"! heh

just an added thought:

.


is, is, is?


i doubt it

is

.



ha.

ok. i think i settled upon:


.

life comes
life goes
it holds you
in it's throws

.



any comments?

I like both, Wylde. I think your original is more perverse and I sort of prefer it. Here's how I read it, which may be different than what you intent was. Let's see -

life comes
and life goes
(it holds you
in it) and throws --->(here, i picture being held down forcefully and drowned, floundering against life, in life itself) And then, it tosses you away
when it's done with you.

The second is milder (and more of a pun), and seems more like being put in a prison of some kind, which is an accurate enough way of seeing it also.

Like I said, both are good. I like the first best.

et. you make me see the light. i shouldnt turn the down-lighters down, purely for comforting an intended reader.

so. re-re-editing.

1st stands.

for now. heh.