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chameleon Staff


  
Joined: May 23, 2006 Posts: 3132 Credits: 378 Location: 42.280163/-71.793345

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Posted: Wed Sep 12 7:51:43 EDT 2007 Post subject: #45 - Abstractions |
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Love. Hate. Death. Cowardice. Patriotism. Motherhood. Happiness. Joy. Sorrow. Despair. Defeat.
Abstractions are those concepts that don't have a concrete form. When I say "chair", you can picture a concrete form (okay, so maybe it's wood or leather or plastic, but you get the idea) in your mind. It may not look like the same chair that I'm picturing, but it is a real thing that you can see and touch and sit on. Happiness has no common shape. I can't hand you a happiness for you to examine, turn over and over in your hands, squeeze it, smell it, taste it, listen to it.
One challenge for poets is to give abstractions a concrete shape, to make readers feel the emotions rather than telling them what to feel. Pick an emotion or concept from the list above and think about a time you felt it, then write about it without using the word at all. Let's see if anyone can identify your emotion just from your description.
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Humanicide Site Curator



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Deleted_User_2352 Has written a poem or two


Joined: Oct 11, 2006 Posts: 127 Credits: 21

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Posted: Thu Sep 13 11:58:07 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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Rough Draft(un-revised)
Happiness
My father gently holds
my scraped knee
blowing soft wind
a whirl of peace
band-aid to
my pain
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lordfuznut Beauty's but the beginning of terror


   
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Posted: Mon Sep 17 5:52:30 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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"Let's see if anyone can identify your emotion just from your description."
I'm paying attention, Cham -
down the plughole of time, sent
of ambition and hope and fear, robbed
in a flash of a minds eye, gone
a wintery rush up the spine
cracked liked ice and etched in time
nothing, utter nothing; emptiness
soon filled in with the size of your woe
(what is this, from Chams list?)
_________________ sign here
www.reverbnation.com/planetfuznut
Last edited by lordfuznut on Wed Sep 19 4:20:38 EDT 2007; edited 1 time in total |
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lordfuznut Beauty's but the beginning of terror


   
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Posted: Mon Sep 17 6:08:00 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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best skyline ever
I jump out of bed
and shoot a look of love
into the mirror sky
it shoots straight back and into me
I'm young, and hopeful, bursting with glee
my cheeks ache from smiling,
literally heartfelt thanks rise and fall
with every deep, calm, excited breath of contentment
(what is this, from Chams list?)
_________________ sign here
www.reverbnation.com/planetfuznut
Last edited by lordfuznut on Wed Sep 19 4:20:17 EDT 2007; edited 1 time in total |
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lordfuznut Beauty's but the beginning of terror


   
Joined: Feb 10, 2007 Posts: 3944 Credits: 4 Location: Planet Fuznut

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Posted: Mon Sep 17 6:30:42 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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You grew within me, quick and wild
relentless, dark and ugly, at first unseen
now large as imagination, a killer of true pleasure
injecting a slow-working poison into the mind
it slowly creeps down into the heart
replacing hope with anger until
sympathy is beaten into submission
empathy is twisted into viciousness
and I am wont to paint targets on every carte blanche;
a furtive mind, alive, locks on, attacks
then turns back round and paints them black
with a spraycan of exhausted vexation and regret
(what is this, from Chams list?)
_________________ sign here
www.reverbnation.com/planetfuznut
Last edited by lordfuznut on Wed Sep 19 4:19:59 EDT 2007; edited 1 time in total |
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lordfuznut Beauty's but the beginning of terror


   
Joined: Feb 10, 2007 Posts: 3944 Credits: 4 Location: Planet Fuznut

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Posted: Tue Sep 18 7:25:39 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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To think
of my
country
like my
family
(what is this, from Chams list?)
_________________ sign here
www.reverbnation.com/planetfuznut
Last edited by lordfuznut on Wed Sep 19 4:19:41 EDT 2007; edited 1 time in total |
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lordfuznut Beauty's but the beginning of terror


   
Joined: Feb 10, 2007 Posts: 3944 Credits: 4 Location: Planet Fuznut

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 4:17:46 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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Tarring a person with a brush called flamebait
just 'cause they occasionally set a challenge you can't rise to;
they raise the game, see you back into that corner;
found your way inside that box they placed for you, cleverly
so fight your way out? no no, your're only built for flight see, then
in a word, that this game can't let me say, let the poem end
with the phrase that mice and academics use in its place:
conscientious objection
(what is this, from Chams list?)
_________________ sign here
www.reverbnation.com/planetfuznut
Last edited by lordfuznut on Wed Sep 19 4:25:14 EDT 2007; edited 1 time in total |
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lordfuznut Beauty's but the beginning of terror


   
Joined: Feb 10, 2007 Posts: 3944 Credits: 4 Location: Planet Fuznut

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 4:21:57 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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| Humanicide wrote: |
grim
furious with haste,
my death will ride a white wolf
barebacked through the rough. |
Is it Death?
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lordfuznut Beauty's but the beginning of terror


   
Joined: Feb 10, 2007 Posts: 3944 Credits: 4 Location: Planet Fuznut

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 4:24:19 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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| k1dstrike8 wrote: |
Rough Draft(un-revised)
Happiness
My father gently holds
my scraped knee
blowing soft wind
a whirl of peace
band-aid to
my pain |
I reckon the title's a red Herring, so I'm going with Love ; )
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www.reverbnation.com/planetfuznut |
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lordfuznut Beauty's but the beginning of terror


   
Joined: Feb 10, 2007 Posts: 3944 Credits: 4 Location: Planet Fuznut

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 4:47:17 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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I tell you this I always win, but I can never be won.
I keep on winning and I'm grinning when your chance of winnings none.
There's a lesson in this riddle, where two minds may meet, so tell me from Cham's list above, the word:
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Rax "I am RAREFIED!!!"


 
Joined: Mar 21, 2007 Posts: 1575 Credits: 202 Location: Philippines

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 10:58:21 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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| lordfuznut wrote: |
best skyline ever
I jump out of bed
and shoot a look of love
into the mirror sky
it shoots straight back and into me
I'm young, and hopeful, bursting with glee
my cheeks ache from smiling,
literally heartfelt thanks rise and fall
with every deep, calm, excited breath of contentment
(what is this, from Chams list?) |
Joy?
_________________ To live outside the law you must be honest - Bob Dylan |
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Rax "I am RAREFIED!!!"


 
Joined: Mar 21, 2007 Posts: 1575 Credits: 202 Location: Philippines

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 10:59:15 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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| lordfuznut wrote: |
You grew within me, quick and wild
relentless, dark and ugly, at first unseen
now large as imagination, a killer of true pleasure
injecting a slow-working poison into the mind
it slowly creeps down into the heart
replacing hope with anger until
sympathy is beaten into submission
empathy is twisted into viciousness
and I am wont to paint targets on every carte blanche;
a furtive mind, alive, locks on, attacks
then turns back round and paints them black
with a spraycan of exhausted vexation and regret
(what is this, from Chams list?) |
despair?
_________________ To live outside the law you must be honest - Bob Dylan |
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Rax "I am RAREFIED!!!"


 
Joined: Mar 21, 2007 Posts: 1575 Credits: 202 Location: Philippines

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 10:59:56 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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| lordfuznut wrote: |
To think
of my
country
like my
family
(what is this, from Chams list?) |
patriotism
_________________ To live outside the law you must be honest - Bob Dylan |
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Rax "I am RAREFIED!!!"


 
Joined: Mar 21, 2007 Posts: 1575 Credits: 202 Location: Philippines

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 11:00:30 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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| lordfuznut wrote: |
"Let's see if anyone can identify your emotion just from your description."
I'm paying attention, Cham -
down the plughole of time, sent
of ambition and hope and fear, robbed
in a flash of a minds eye, gone
a wintery rush up the spine
cracked liked ice and etched in time
nothing, utter nothing; emptiness
soon filled in with the size of your woe
(what is this, from Chams list?) |
death
_________________ To live outside the law you must be honest - Bob Dylan |
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Rax "I am RAREFIED!!!"


 
Joined: Mar 21, 2007 Posts: 1575 Credits: 202 Location: Philippines

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 11:01:24 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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| lordfuznut wrote: |
Tarring a person with a brush called flamebait
just 'cause they occasionally set a challenge you can't rise to;
they raise the game, see you back into that corner;
found your way inside that box they placed for you, cleverly
so fight your way out? no no, your're only built for flight see, then
in a word, that this game can't let me say, let the poem end
with the phrase that mice and academics use in its place:
conscientious objection
(what is this, from Chams list?) |
coward
_________________ To live outside the law you must be honest - Bob Dylan |
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Rax "I am RAREFIED!!!"


 
Joined: Mar 21, 2007 Posts: 1575 Credits: 202 Location: Philippines

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 11:11:31 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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it is the sound of porcelain
slammed against the walls
without letting go, only letting it
it splinter into tiny shards
that dig deep into her skin,
slipping into blood vessels
en route to the heart.
_________________ To live outside the law you must be honest - Bob Dylan |
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Deleted_User_3267 And for a moment, it was like joy was


Joined: Apr 23, 2007 Posts: 1887 Credits: 53

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 11:17:41 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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| lordfuznut wrote: |
"Let's see if anyone can identify your emotion just from your description."
I'm paying attention, Cham -
down the plughole of time, sent
of ambition and hope and fear, robbed
in a flash of a minds eye, gone
a wintery rush up the spine
cracked liked ice and etched in time
nothing, utter nothing; emptiness
soon filled in with the size of your woe
(what is this, from Chams list?) |
despair, hopelessness
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Deleted_User_3267 And for a moment, it was like joy was


Joined: Apr 23, 2007 Posts: 1887 Credits: 53

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 11:20:12 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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oh is it matching the one's above? or are the emotions just anything?
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Deleted_User_3267 And for a moment, it was like joy was


Joined: Apr 23, 2007 Posts: 1887 Credits: 53

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 11:20:29 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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who's matching and who's not?
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Deleted_User_3267 And for a moment, it was like joy was


Joined: Apr 23, 2007 Posts: 1887 Credits: 53

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 12:28:09 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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Awaken
my mold, the
plaster of my whole...
for I am not myself
(guess)
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Kae Intrigued


Joined: Jun 08, 2007 Posts: 8 Credits: 1 Location: Chicago

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 17:07:16 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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Full and heavy of
All the words
I dread hearing
Same old yelling and same
Frantic screaming
Same stagnant breath
And static movement
Breathe but can't talk
It all comes out a sigh
Drop
Down
Down
Down
Where
The sky is the ground
And I never fall.
I just fly.
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chameleon Staff


  
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Deleted_User_3362 Poet Laureate of Bitsville


Joined: May 07, 2007 Posts: 2112 Credits: 67

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Posted: Wed Sep 19 22:23:33 EDT 2007 Post subject: Re: #45 - Abstractions |
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| lordfuznut wrote: |
You grew within me, quick and wild
relentless, dark and ugly, at first unseen
now large as imagination, a killer of true pleasure
injecting a slow-working poison into the mind
it slowly creeps down into the heart
replacing hope with anger until
sympathy is beaten into submission
empathy is twisted into viciousness
and I am wont to paint targets on every carte blanche;
a furtive mind, alive, locks on, attacks
then turns back round and paints them black
with a spraycan of exhausted vexation and regret
(what is this, from Chams list?) |
Total paranoid anger spurned by drunkeness and insecurity.
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Humanicide Site Curator



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