|Some knocker , knocking the odd fighting voices all over the one place they were supposed to be speaking . Astonishing Ma'am, the key word for me in teh poem is "could " , the way it repeats .|
|well, I think I chose the one chair because it's the one relationship that they are sharing. It could be the same relationship but it sounded more at odds to me to say one. More isolated I think.. but it would make it warmer to use same I agree.|
some of the lines in this are rewritten clichés
my eyes are bigger than my heart.. my eyes are bigger than my stomach
you could place the rug back over me..you pulled the rug out from under me.
once again we could end at the beginning. We could start over.
so those are the things I wondered if they worked or not. Now what do you think?
|I like L's revision. I like how the images you chose almost try to distract from the pain as you would in real life, to look at any bland object to focus yourself on something less agonizing. Or maybe it's just me...|
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