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Forums > > Poetry Workshops > > Post a Poem > > My Sorrow
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My Sorrow


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JesusFreak8956
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PostPosted: Sun May 23 19:08:11 EDT 2010    Post subject: My Sorrow Reply with quote

I heard a knock on the front door,
and the strangest thing met my eye.
I asked it for its name
and yet it gave no reply.
I learned it from my mother
if it knocks on your front door.
That if it tells you its name
it's yours forevermore.
I took it through the hallway
and led it to the kitchen.
All the while I asked its name
with still no answer given.
I cleaned it up and let it lay
and down it chose to lie.
Before it rested I asked again
and again no reply.
I asked it in the morning
and it was quiet through the day.
I asked it through the evening
yet it had nothing to say.
But then it turned to the hall
facing the front door.
Before it left it whispered "sorrow"
and it was mine forevermore.

From the poetry section, read the original here: Original Poem
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PostPosted: Sun May 23 21:16:34 EDT 2010    Post subject: Re: My Sorrow Reply with quote

An interesting and original concept.

Rhyming poems generally benefit from a strict meter. I think this would be more readable if it followed some iambic structure.
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