blush

cathy.robinson

morning skims atop
the silk of cornfields
past the leafy tulip poplars
and tiptoes across
miles of clover
just to kiss an apple
and make it blush

wordsmithwannabe

i like this, reminds me of many a summer in my hometown in southern Oregon.

a few suggestions:

L1: "atop" seems redundant since skimming implies moving across the top
L3: lose "the"
L4: lose "and"

just a few little trimmings to enhance the imagery, which is rather lovely =)

Ozymandias

Beautiful imagery. Not sure if I agree with Chris's suggestions, it seems to me they might make the meaning a little unclear, at least on first reading.

I don't know what a "tulip poplar" is, I'm assuming it's some kind of tree I am not familiar with.

I love the ending of this poem, in particular.

cathy.robinson

thanks, chris...i just wrote. as usual. =)

oz- tulip poplars are all over tennessee...it's our state tree. they don't get incredibly tall, but have lovely flowers in pink and white that resemble tulips.

wylde

cathy.robinson - a simply stungunningly beautiful read, as it stands, for me.

cathy.robinson

wylde wrote:

cathy.robinson - a simply stungunningly beautiful read, as it stands, for me.

thank you so very much. =)

judih

yes, refreshing in its charm

(enjoyed)!