There was nowhere
left for her to turn,
right after the rains
came and washed him away.

So she lay down
upon the softened meadow,
lost in a stream
of consciousness.

She tucked herself in
between the sheets of Ulysses
and dreamt with both eyes open,
munching lotus fruit and flowers
as the river widened its mouth.

Another good one from you, Chris. I just find a couple of things a bit odd, which may be just me, but anyway: "him" in S1 is presumably the woman's partner, but the idea of a person being washed away in rains, although it does happen, is so unusual that it seems to call for some preliminary introduction to the situation. The other comment would be on "munching" in the second last line - is it the best word to describe how one would eat lotus fruit (I am assuming lotuses do indeed have fruit, since I do take in the point about the lotus eaters in the Odyssey!)?

Hi Rory, the water references are meant to be metaphorical, building in successive intensity (rain-->stream-->river) in relation to the narrative mode of the stream of consciousness that is most exemplified in James Joyce's Ulysses. she's apathetic, taking part of the lotus and munching indifferently as she intentionally forgets him...does that help clarify things at all?

wordsmithwannabe wrote:

Hi Rory, the water references are meant to be metaphorical, building in successive intensity (rain-->stream-->river) in relation to the narrative mode of the stream of consciousness that is most exemplified in James Joyce's Ulysses. she's apathetic, taking part of the lotus and munching indifferently as she intentionally forgets him...does that help clarify things at all?

Ah, so when you say the rain washed him away, you mean that the memory of him was, as it were, washed away? That would make sense.

Chris I LOVE this. One little quibble:

something about the word 'munch' seems too cute relative to rest of the poem around it.

thank you Christopher. you and Rory have both pointed out the "munching" so i will rethink it, as it really doesn't fit with the rest of the poem's theme. thanks for the critique, good to see you around these here parts again =)

I'm undoubtedly going way off on a tangent here, but when I read the last line of the last verse there was one more line.

She tucked herself in
between the sheets of Ulysses
and dreamt with both eyes open,
munching lotus fruit and flowers
as the river widened its mouth(.)
...

Forgive me, it's your river and your poem not mine...

no worries! i'm always open to suggestion, so if you have an idea you'd like to add to the end, i'm all ears

I'm afraid it waxed too pessimistic, why I didn't add it ... as I recall, it was something like "and sucked her in."

Now all I can imagine is your ears.... tee-hee and LOL!

Our fields of fireweed are in full bloom - you know what that means (or at least what it meant up in Alaska)! Woo-wee, I hope we can stretch this summer longer...

hmm, i see your point...it can be read as needing an additional line because of the word 'as' being used in a conjunctive manner. i'll fiddle with it and see if i can make it stronger. thanks for the input!

and yes, the fireweed doth bloom! my aunt used to make it into jelly and syrup, it has a unique flavor.

We ain't got any a that fireweed down here'ina south.

What is fireweed? It sounds a lot more interesting than goldenrod, and the sort of weed I could get behind.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...ustifolium

it's not that pretty on its own but an entire field of it is quite breathtaking

I love the way you've tucked Ulysses in here - I may try to read it again (for a third time. I just can't get through it!).

love love love the ending! "as the river widened its mouth" - glorious!

Not much fireweed here in Victoria, but I am well aquainted with entire hillsides ablaze in it.

Ulysses is not an easy read, but i think it's an important book for many reasons, not least of which is the narrative mode that Joyce employs in the novel that many have tried to emulate since and have failed miserably! thanks for the positive feedback =)

slight edit:

There was nowhere
left for her to turn,
right after the rains
came and washed him away.

So she lay down
upon the softened meadow,
lost in a stream
of consciousness.

She tucked herself in
between the sheets of Ulysses
and dreamt with both eyes open,
eating lotus fruit and flowers
as the river widened its mouth.