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Forums > > Poetry Workshops > > Post a Poem > > Work
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Work


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brownkat
Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.


Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.



Joined: Jun 05, 2006
Posts: 434
Credits: 1
Location: Your screen

PostPosted: Thu Jun 8 12:41:18 EDT 2006    Post subject: Work Reply with quote

I sit in my chair
Ergonomically correct
Hypnotized by the click click clicking sounds

Watching people come in and out
And out and in
Those blasted elevators
Elevators that transport them to another dimension
The dimension of occupation

The roaring sound of takeoff
Landing to the sound of a ding!
<Doors open>

Click click click

“Good morning!”
I greet the alien in his Armani tailored suit
It speaks
But stares at his loaded blackberry weapon
He fires a business card at me

I brush it off
Rich bastard!

Click click click

Encircled in a sphere of olive walls
And golden frames of sailboats
Sailboats!
Regal plush chairs
And a mahogany coffee table with a picture book
A picture book of sailboats

And I sit
Waiting
Waiting
Clicking
Waiting

Isolated at my desk
Shaped like a wooden jewelry box
With it’s elegant mahogany finish
And it’s articulate engraved details
I am the ballerina dancing in my thoughts
Guarding the priceless jewel of creativity

Left alone
To hear the thunderous sounds of my keyboard

Click
Click
Click

It’s time to go home


Last edited by brownkat on Thu Jun 8 17:10:54 EDT 2006; edited 2 times in total
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wickedhart
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Joined: Mar 14, 2005
Posts: 198
Credits: 6


PostPosted: Thu Jun 8 13:23:04 EDT 2006    Post subject: Re: Work Reply with quote

What a great write! I really enjoyed reading this Very Happy
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brownbwi
Site Curator


Site Curator
Award staff member for JudgingjudgesEat Chicken!


Joined: Apr 22, 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 8 14:16:31 EDT 2006    Post subject: Re: Work Reply with quote

i think this is your best write to date lil sis. did you write this one yesterday?lol. i think your freedom with the words got better as the piece went along. my favorite stanza is 9.. i think. about the olive walls. nice write.

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brownkat
Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.


Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.



Joined: Jun 05, 2006
Posts: 434
Credits: 1
Location: Your screen

PostPosted: Thu Jun 8 14:40:27 EDT 2006    Post subject: Re: Work Reply with quote

Thank you big bro... I wrote it today, but it looks like I kinda jumped the gun... I am still clicking on my keyboard waiting to go home.

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brownkat
Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.


Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.



Joined: Jun 05, 2006
Posts: 434
Credits: 1
Location: Your screen

PostPosted: Thu Jun 8 16:41:46 EDT 2006    Post subject: Re: Work Reply with quote

brownbwi wrote:
i think your freedom with the words got better as the piece went along.


Your right. The opening is weak, I should work on that...
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KenMoore
Member for Life


Member for Life



Joined: Mar 16, 2006
Posts: 7
Credits: 1


PostPosted: Thu Jul 20 21:37:58 EDT 2006    Post subject: Re: Work Reply with quote

Bad day at the office, huh. Or was that a good day? lol
Fun read. Maybe after

"Good morning!”
I greet the alien in his Armani tailored suit
It speaks

you might spice this up with an abduction to oh, maybe the Bahamas. Go home early!
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brownkat
Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.


Wrote Lyric Verse at least once.



Joined: Jun 05, 2006
Posts: 434
Credits: 1
Location: Your screen

PostPosted: Fri Jul 21 12:22:13 EDT 2006    Post subject: Re: Work Reply with quote

LOL It Friday!!! I've been waiting for it since Monday. I will try to sneak home early though, hopefully the aliens won't notice.

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chameleon
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Joined: May 23, 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 21 16:43:33 EDT 2006    Post subject: Re: Work Reply with quote

I like this one a lot... I didn't want to just jump on the 'nice write' bandwagon, but it is.
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