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Tidbits from Our Visit to The Big Apple

A short travel guide to New York City

1) How Not to Buy a Pocketbook in New York City

Get off the double-decker open-air tourist bus on Canal Street. Be careful you're not beheaded by a traffic light.
Watch a petite Asian woman engage your wife in spirited conversation. Follow them to a side street where the three of you are the only occupants not vertically-challenged.
Catch up with your wife as she is passed off to a petite Asian man with a walkie-talkie who leads you into the basement of a seemingly abandoned building where a room smothered in pocketbooks exists.
Tap your foot nervously as your wife browses the contraband. Notice the petite Asian man has a fingernail on his right thumb the size of a Bowie knife.
Have mixed emotions as your wife decides not to make a purchase. Follow our Alamo hero back up the stairs to a now-locked door. Feel kind of Starsky and Hutch-ish as he waits for the “all clear” on his walkie-talkie. Leave the building at a brisk pace then full gallop.
Catch bus back to luxury hotel. Change underwear.

2) What Not to Expect in a $369 per night Hotel Room in New York City

Coffeemaker
Free Internet
Free Adult Movies( or so I read ).
Three or more towels
Bureau for clothes
Working plug in shaving-sink

3) Money-Saving Tips from Our Trip to New York City

The Metropolitan Museum of Fine Arts has a “suggested” admission of $20 per visitor. Our tour-guide on the bus told us most New Yorkers only give a couple of bucks. We got in for $5. The Egyptian section took ninety minutes. Once you've seen one mummy, you've seen them all.
The pulled-pork sandwich at Planet Hollywood was $18. For that price, Bruce Willis should emerge form the kitchen, tongue-kiss each patron, then pour your $7 Coors Light.
We had Brunch at an inn that Aaron Burr owned for ten years before he was imprisoned for killing Alexander Hamilton in a duel.The Stuffed French-Toast cost two Hamilton's. Revenge is best served warm with a raspberry sauce.
A horse- and -buggy ride in Central Park cost $40 per ride not per person. And, much to my chagrin, you're not responsible for cleaning up the droppings.

Submitted by bardofaisle9 on Saturday, October 18, 2008 (16:43:58) (667 reads)

"Features: Tidbits from Our Visit to The Big Apple" | Login/Create an Account | 2 comments

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Re: Tidbits from Our Visit to The Big Apple
by Anonymous on Sunday, October 19, 2008 (12:04:23)

, what a write! do you also have something like this for WashingtonDC ? I mean the museums and galleries are great but the parking space story is something else. Would like to read more such stuff.

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Re: Tidbits from Our Visit to The Big Apple by bardofaisle9 on Sunday, October 19