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I lost my dog a few days ago---
Guess he ran away.
Asked a friend if he had seen him.
He told me “Nope,”
And that I ought a post a lost sign.
You know, a picture of him
His breed, his name, and your phone.

“Hell,” I Said, “He's just a dog,”
“Ain’t got no picture of him,
I don’t know his breed,
But his name is “Dog.”
Found him on my ranch
Just about eight years ago.
I tried to shoot him but missed.

That night I came home
And he was on my porch,
So I gave him my boot.
Figured he would get my drift.
I opened the door the next morning.
Yep, he was standing on the porch
Smiling and wagging his tail.

I figured I wouldn’t feed him
And then he would go away.
In all those years I never did feed him.
He was lucky because of my wife.
She would toss out table scrapes
After each meal and he would feast on that.
At least “Dog” never did cost me anything!

I don’t know where he went at night.
Sometimes I’d see him on the porch,
Sometimes under the porch,
Sometimes he would be in the barn,
Some days I wouldn’t see him at all.
What more could you figure
With a damn ole ranch dog?

So, what the hell I thought
The dog wasn’t good for anything.
When it rained he would go to the corral
And wallow in the mud and cow dung.
He smelled to high heaven all the time.
So, I would always threw him in the creek
Each time we would go by there.

When ever I got in my pickup truck
He’d jump in the bed of the truck.
Didn’t matter where I went
Around the ranch or into town.
He would always ride in the back.
“Dog” was one hundred percent useless.
He was just a good-for-nothing ranch dog.

He damn near killed me once.
I was feeding my bull some cubes,
And “Dog” bit him you know where!
That 3,000 pound bull
Damn near killed me right then and there.
I knew I should have killed that dog
You know, way back when.

All of my neighbors tried to kill him.
If there was bitch dog in season---
Within miles---he’d know about it!
Jim Bob told if he ever saw him again
On his ranch he was going to shoot him.
Heck, they all tried but “Dog” survived.
Maybe he was a dumb dog---but he was a happy one.

He got into the horse’s pasture once.
Tried to chased them but the horses were too smart;
Cause they chased him and wouldn’t let him leave
The pasture---until finally “Dog” ran out breath,
And I’ll be darn if he didn’t climb up a tree.
That’s really the only thing that he could do.
Hell, I least I could brag that he was a tree dog!

I went to the hardware store in town today
To pick up some t-bars and wire
And met the sheriff there.
Asked him if he’d seen a stray dog.
Sheriff tilted his hat back and thought on it.
“Yep,” he said, “I seen a stray dog by the road side.
There by Jim Bob’s road.”

I put my stuff in the F-150 and drove home,
Looking around as I got near Jim Bob’s place,
And only saw a bunch of buzzards near the road.
Stop at my ranch and opened my gate.
Drove in, got out and closed the gate.
As I went back to my truck I looked in the bed.
Nothing there---and I just bent my head and cried.

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