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Poems - I have a new umbrella

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I have a new umbrella

by Essex68

I have a new umbrella

I have a new umbrella.
It’s black and kind of gold.
I’m self-conscious when I use it.
It makes me feel so old.

But it does have other uses.
Apart from keeping me dry.
If I see you walking down the street.
It’s used to avoid your eye.

So when I see you coming.
Walking down the street.
I just lean it forward.
And walk so funnily.

So I can avoid those conversations.
Those idle little words.
That pass in one ear, and out the other.
Unlike the singing birds.

I have a new umbrella.
It’s really made of gold.
Like an armoured column.
When I take a stroll.

I use to think umbrellas.
Were for the strangest peeps.
In fact I know they aren’t that bad.
I think they're pretty neat.

W R Baker





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Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
by Pujakins on Saturday, August 06, 2011 (13:42:54)
Cute poem, and i like the rhymes and the rhythm. One comment, I think you meant they're rather than their in the last line. Also, you could maybe lose the next to last verse because to me anyway, it's a bit obscure--or else perhaps say what you mean a bit differently? Just a thought. An enjoyabole read, my friend. Warm Regards, Tasha

| Parent
    Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
    by Essex68 on Sunday, August 07, 2011 (15:39:03)
    Thank you Tasha, Yes you are quite right about he last line. Another one of my lapses in grammar lol. I will modify it. I don't feel the second last stanza is obscure though. It's just my way of saying the brolly is like a piece of armour ect. Thank you for your kind comment. Take care Wayne.

    | Parent
      Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
      by Pujakins on Sunday, August 07, 2011 (16:15:02)
      Ah, piece of armour I can well agree with, howeer armoured column doesn't quite convey that at least to me. Sorry, maybe I'm just picky. don't take it to heart. Warm Wishes and appreciation, Tasha

      | Parent
        Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
        by Essex68 on Sunday, August 07, 2011 (17:43:24)
        My dear Tasha, I never take anything to heart. Maybe a armoured column sounds a little harsh for the piece. It's probably just my vunarable side coming through.

        | Parent

Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
by TygerTyger on Saturday, August 06, 2011 (13:47:28)
Hi wayne I love this piece. Well done. If you feel self conscious with that. I borrowed a bright pink Dog carrier from a neighbor. I didn't expect, it to be pink. I felt terrible, as I now pinks fashionable now, but it didn't go with my image. Brolly were once used by ladies to hide behind and flirt. I suppouse thats what you were up too really. I can just picture you walking down the street. I had mine out today. another great piece my friend. keep it up enjoyed it. all the best Pete. LOl .

| Parent
    Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
    by Essex68 on Sunday, August 07, 2011 (15:46:29)
    Thanks Pete. You know what I'm 43 years old and the other day bought my first brolly in my life. It was such a snotty day in colchester, But humid aswell. I really couldn't be bothered wearing a waterproof coat. I would of sweated my bits off lol. They have more than one use though, as I found out. Take care fella have a good week.

    | Parent

Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Sunday, August 07, 2011 (03:17:53)
I agree with Tasha about this one. It's a most enjoyable read - I can relate to your use of umbrellas!

| Parent
    Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
    by Essex68 on Sunday, August 07, 2011 (15:54:22)
    Thanks Rory. I wrote it the other night at my poetry evening. The original was writen on a napkin in the bar we meet in. I managed to loose the napkin. But lucky enough I could remember most of it. Thank s for reading and your kind comment, always appreciated.

    | Parent

Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
by slhartman on Sunday, August 07, 2011 (21:43:28)
Ah...my umbrella...I began to walk with one at the age of 46...protection from the elements and shady passers by. My is red, black, and white...the colors of my darling DC United. Delightful piece.

| Parent
    Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
    by Essex68 on Monday, August 08, 2011 (17:35:52)
    Thank you for reading. It was a quick one off my head. I do love to just go with the flow . though it does make the odd banana skin now and then lol.

    | Parent

Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
by rondo on Wednesday, August 17, 2011 (02:10:08)
love rhymes that make mundain issues interesting Very Happy peace

| Parent
    Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
    by Essex68 on Wednesday, August 17, 2011 (04:57:17)
    Thanks rondo. sometimes those silly little things make the best poems. can't always be doing too much thinking lol

    | Parent

Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
by K13739 on Thursday, August 18, 2011 (10:28:14)
Since I have joined this site, I have read poems about a bathtub, a pin cushion, a saucepan and now an umbrella. I think it is wonderful.

| Parent
    Re: I have a new umbrella (Score: 1 )
    by Essex68 on Thursday, August 18, 2011 (17:26:11)
    Its always fun to just write about whatever comes to mind sometimes.

    | Parent


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