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Poems - If you think you can fly

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If you think you can fly

by lukaki26

At this height the attempt to tempt fate
and take flight is
tempting,

but once you're descending
it's too late to think twice.

I feel like spreading my wings
and giving in to limitlessness
as I shiver with bitter cold
like a little lost childs lip

Isn't this bliss,
I'm on a roof top with rain in my face
Wait!
Is this it?
I wanted to find at least some scraps of incite.
I pull my jacket zip tight
as I look at my wrist I see ist four fourty three
and it's dawning on me
that I've been up here
since
midnight.

At this height the attempt to tempt fate
and take flight is
tempting,

but once you're descending
it's too late to think twice.

There's no
rewind,
if my life is ending it won't be
this night.

It's like I'm in a fist fight
with a room of pissed up midwives
with big grins
doing sick things
to victims
with six inch knives.

I'm
scared to tell my own girlfriend
that I feel weak inside,
so I stare right through her eyes
and decide to keep quiet.

As she sleeps tight
I stand
and stare down
at street lights

At this height the attempt to tempt fate
and take flight is
tempting,

but once you're descending
it's too late to think twice.

It's nice,
as I make my way down
the rain clouds disperse,
It still hurts
but feels better
now my head is down
with her's.

I'm one person
carrying the heavy weight
of a great burden
Same depraved
rhyme surgeon
with deranged mind
whirring

I
find disturbing words in my brain
circling again,
TV merges
turning into blurred verses
of strange nervous
faint murmurs

As day emerges
from behind beige curtains
I hear sound words
"If you think you can fly
try taking off from the ground first."





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Re: If you think you can fly (Score: 1 )
by BrokenWordsPoet on Saturday, November 19, 2011 (19:14:56)
I really like the entire poem... could not stop reading,,, stanza 8 truly stands out... There is a typo S4 L7 its.

Truly nice work and no one can write a better last line for this poem...

Glad to see you post... In hopes for peace... BWP... James... I don't rate anymore I don't have the right. I will say I like and leave a well thought comment.

Lukai... kept the analyzing to myself...

| Parent

Re: If you think you can fly (Score: 1 )
by deepali on Sunday, November 20, 2011 (11:27:01)
I think you can definitely fly coz your poem takes off so well!
the rainbow awaits..
love and warm wishes
deepali

| Parent

Re: If you think you can fly (Score: 1 )
by misty678 on Sunday, November 20, 2011 (11:55:19)
Nice write.
'Thank you for sharing

| Parent

Re: If you think you can fly (Score: 1 )
by Essex68 on Sunday, November 20, 2011 (12:50:38)
What a fantastic piece. It left me on the edge with you. No human has ever flown without the help of science. Take our hands my friend.

| Parent

Re: If you think you can fly (Score: 1 )
by maryanns on Sunday, November 20, 2011 (13:05:35)
Gotta love the wealth of sound rhymes in this, the feeling of freedom and optimism (and good sense)... Quite a vivid visionary poem, a fine compelling read. Fly on poet! - Best wishes, Mary Ann

| Parent

Re: If you think you can fly (Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Sunday, November 20, 2011 (17:51:09)
It's what you could call a difficult poem. Some of the metaphors are too obscure for me, while others work well, especially "like a little lost child's lip". The general tone of it is effective and provocative and the introspective stream-of-consciousness is good.

| Parent

Re: If you think you can fly (Score: 1 )
by Ilan on Sunday, November 20, 2011 (22:53:45)
Plenty depth Here and frightening to
read, quite an effective dark poem

Best wishes
Ilan

| Parent

Re: If you think you can fly (Score: 1 )
by Liner on Monday, November 21, 2011 (06:13:43)
Like a train pulling out of a station, it builds up speed beautifully, great write. david

| Parent

Re: If you think you can fly (Score: 1 )
by badmalthus on Saturday, November 26, 2011 (03:44:57)
I have to thank James for putting me on to your work L. I love this poem...it bursts with energy...makes one want to fly.
Cheers...Harry

| Parent

Re: If you think you can fly (Score: 1 )
by Lyrical_lady on Tuesday, December 20, 2011 (18:14:31)
Wow, I absolutely love it. It is so passionately put together. Man, you've got skills, poet. Smile

| Parent

Re: If you think you can fly (Score: 1 )
by kortney_amos on Monday, February 20, 2012 (17:41:44)
I really like this, I think the imagery is great. It's a bit scary and I caught myself leaning closer to the screen and I wanted to reach out to you. It might just be me because I'm dark, but I definitely got the sense of suicide here. I think this is really well done and I like it's rhythm when read aloud.

| Parent

Re: If you think you can fly (Score: 1 )
by zoe_in_a_bubble on Sunday, March 11, 2012 (14:36:12)
loved the last two lines...

| Parent


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