User Info
Yesterday's Top
Donations
 GotPoetry is a community supported site.
Due Date:
May 31
May Goal:
180.00
Gross Amount:
0.00
PayPal Fees:
0.00
Net Balance:
0.00
Below Goal:
180.00
Site Currency:
USD
|
Poems - Final Hope
| | Final Hopeby butterflyzrfree
Plant bulbs by the river when I'm dying
When I die by the river this day
plant crocus, plant tulips, plant daffodils,
beauty be reborn from the clay.
When seafarers come down this river
they will look at the flowers and say
on their way with their nets to the ocean
that someday their future will lay
In a flowerbed lining a river
that's how they wish it to be,
for their wives and dear daughters t'remember
their pa who lived life on the sea.
As the years pass will banks line with flowers?
for the spring of this year that I die?
then my wishes will so be completed
and in heaven with joy I will cry.
When all rivers are covered with flowers
and a legend will pass days of old
how the banks were once bare and unsmiling
and the sea life unfriendly and cold
Plant bulbs by the river as I'm dying
for the love I have given, I leave
so the future will someday be better
food and beauty My friends can achieve.
and behind those flowers plant foodstuffs
for horses the hay and the grain
and vast acres of fruits and of vegetables
so the people, full stomachs' regain.
my legacy of flowers beginning
a destiny for each human born
that on dying they promise to pass on
this gift to the world, forevermore...
| |
 
| "Final Hope" | Login/Create an Account | 18 |
|
|
| The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content. |
 |
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by starstruck13 on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 (03:26:53) |
wow you did an excellent poem
 |
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by butterflyzrfree on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 (06:26:13) |
Thank you, Starstruck!
 |
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by WordLover on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 (10:28:32) |
Gail, I can only add "WOW" to this amazing poem! Seriously, I believe this is one of the very best poems of yours I've ever had the pleasure to read. Outstanding!!! Ten and a heart from me to you.
Sandy
|
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by butterflyzrfree on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 (13:38:27) |
I am honored and humbled that you would think such a thing! Gail 
 |
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by tommyjacksprat on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 (12:27:43) |
This is a complex and delightful
poetic that I enjoyed immensely.
You moved from one metaphor
to the other without a bump.
Very good write. tom
|
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by butterflyzrfree on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 (13:39:54) |
Thank you Jack Sprat! Welcome to gp! Hope that you enjoy it here! and many thanks, for the kind comment...
 |
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 (20:36:26) |
This is very beautiful and touching; I notice how subtly you weave the rhymes into it. It's a bit odd that you refer to "their pa" in S3, since as I understand it you belong to the gentler gender, but it doesn't affect the merit of the poem.
|
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by butterflyzrfree on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 (22:32:11) |
Hey Rory: Thanks! That stanza was about the deaths of the seafarers, and thus their families would refer to them as such. Perhaps That is not made clear. I wrote this rather quickly in the night, repaired several small typos this am, but I believe that stanza can stand. What do you think?
|
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 (22:37:32) |
For me, it's a little confusing whether you are talking or a seafarer is talking. S1 is in First Person while S2-3 is in Third Person, then S4 reverts to First Person. So this gets me a bit muddled up. However, I am coming down with flu or something at present, and feeling a bit dizzy in the head, so perhaps my brain is not working properly.
 |
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by deepali on Thursday, February 16, 2012 (08:13:48) |
a promise to pass on..
deep thoughts, here, dear Gail!
love the way it ends..
D.
|
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by butterflyzrfree on Friday, February 17, 2012 (22:49:01) |
Thanks, Deepali! I have to thank you very much here! You good karma brings all of your work many positive comments! Luv ya! Gail
 |
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by omegapaf on Saturday, February 18, 2012 (12:31:18) |
all rivers change their course over the years. some meander....some go straight to the sea.....some wait in backwater eddys for the bulbs to grow - pauly.
|
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by butterflyzrfree on Tuesday, February 21, 2012 (08:43:42) |
such a lovely little verse to footnote my write! Love it, and you take care pauley! Gail
|
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by flowergirl on Sunday, February 19, 2012 (05:51:30) |
What a beautiful vision I saw when reading this. Just Beautiful! 
|
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by butterflyzrfree on Tuesday, February 21, 2012 (08:45:13) |
Thank you so much GailJean! Personally, I like this one too! See ya! Gail
 |
Re: Final Hope
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Sunday, February 26, 2012 (21:32:13) |
G'day Gail...
Nice flow and rhyme Gail. I dare say we all wish to leave behind a positive legacy and what better than flowers that bloom each year as a riminder.
Thank you Gail
Lindsay
Added on: 14-Feb-2012 | Hits: 198 |
 |
01: life2all
- Use an RSS reader to stay up to date with the latest news and posts from GotPoetry.
You can syndicate other parts of our site using the following files:
