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Poems - a bird sings


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a bird sings

by Upāsaka

a bird sings
a father cries

<< prev | Haiku, Senryu, Renga and Tanka | next >>

"a bird sings" | Login/Create an Account | 7
The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.

Re: a bird sings (Score: 1 )
by WHMechem on Sunday, February 26, 2012 (01:02:03)
I like it! It grabs my thought processes and causes me to ponder each line and their connection.

| Parent
    Re: a bird sings (Score: 1 )
    by Upāsaka on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 (06:50:13)
    Thanks. Your reading means more than words can say Smile

    | Parent

Re: a bird sings (Score: 1 )
by butterflyzrfree on Sunday, February 26, 2012 (10:23:16)
Something about this one really grabbed me in the gut! One of your best, which, is saying a lot!!!!!

| Parent
    Re: a bird sings (Score: 1 )
    by Upāsaka on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 (06:51:06)

    Somehow we both seam to always respond to the emotional ones!


    | Parent
      Re: a bird sings (Score: 1 )
      by butterflyzrfree on Friday, March 09, 2012 (15:14:43)
      Those are the only good ones! Withought the schmaltz, though...

      | Parent

Re: a bird sings (Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 (04:48:17)
I agree with the others, it's very well constructed.

| Parent
    Re: a bird sings (Score: 1 )
    by Upāsaka on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 (06:53:15)
    Thank you for commenting on the construction. It started out as nearly a paragraph of prose and then got whittled down. Sometimes less is more. Cheers!

    | Parent

[ Upāsaka's profile | Commenting Members (4) | | ]

  Added on: 25-Feb-2012 | Hits: 332 | Full author copyright - Exclusive Right held by author.

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