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Poems - Deadened Moon
| | Deadened Moonby FuchsiaFestival!
Lost, bristled fingertips
eyes flushed with ghosts.
The clouds, you see,
soft silver lines.
Moon dies, it croaks
with a cork in its throat.
You see, I breathe,
the absent debris.
Under, a blistered sky
filled with injured stars.
Jarred lips tingle,
frowning like hopeless grain.
Distress, I sing
the felt of a black
dress.
This night, will waltz
sending shame to my brain.
Windows, they're cracked,
twinkling disdain.
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| "Deadened Moon" | Login/Create an Account | 17 |
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| The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content. |
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by nerdgirl on Monday, March 19, 2012 (02:59:39) |
Its been awhile since Ive been active on here... this is so different from what you wrote when I was on here all the time. I really like this though. Its beautiful
" You see, I breathe,
the absent debris"
Simply adore that line. 
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by FuchsiaFestival! on Monday, March 19, 2012 (10:27:15) |
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed this. I hope things are going well.
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by WordLover on Monday, March 19, 2012 (07:18:51) |
Sammi - agree with Jenna - there are so many brilliant lines in this wonderful piece - I really love:
Moon dies, it croaks
with a cork in its throat.
Such sad, sharp vividness you bring to life.
Sandy
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by FuchsiaFestival! on Monday, March 19, 2012 (10:26:44) |
Thanks, this was a difficult poem writing...I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was more or less a fantastical poem than anything else, but with a sad touch.
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by electrictiger on Tuesday, March 20, 2012 (00:43:32) |
Surreal, but its textures rub across the brain, wakening it to something that's a little bleak and a lot beautiful. I especially liked "under, a blistered sky / filled with injured stars"
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by FuchsiaFestival! on Tuesday, March 20, 2012 (15:28:29) |
Thank you, that's a good way of looking at it. Ironically, I was looking at the textures while putting forth a surreal melody. A mixture of both.
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by Pujakins on Thursday, March 22, 2012 (17:50:55) |
Interesting poem, images that make the mind twirl a bit. I like it. Hope all is well with you. I've had little time for GP except to answer others comments, which I enjoy of course, and no time for new poetry. However I read some of my funny ones at our church talent show and they were well received. Happy Spring, Dear Heart, Here's wishing you well. Tasha
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by FuchsiaFestival! on Thursday, March 22, 2012 (23:26:06) |
Thank you, dear. Glad you enjoyed this one, hope things are going well. I hope you start writing again, I miss reading you.
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by Pujakins on Friday, March 23, 2012 (11:15:49) |
Thanks for your comment in the forum. It is wonderful to have your presence there. I really liked what you said, as well as what others said, and hope to have a better version soon. It is always a pleasure to make a good poem better.
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by FuchsiaFestival! on Friday, March 23, 2012 (11:29:55) |
Thanks, and you are welcome. Would you please check mine out, too?
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by Pujakins on Saturday, March 24, 2012 (11:35:04) |
will do. Things have been so hectic lately for me, I have had to treat my poet friends the way I treat my plants--I call it benign neglect because at least I'm not over-watering them! Good subject for a poem, eh? Hugs and blessings, thinking of you. Tasha
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by zoe_in_a_bubble on Saturday, March 24, 2012 (12:09:25) |
I always enjoy the imagery in your poems.
It almost felt as if there was a shadow descending over it as I read
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by FuchsiaFestival! on Tuesday, March 27, 2012 (19:06:42) |
In metaphorical terms, there is a shadow: sometimes it's in its lightest mood. Thank you.
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by Loki on Tuesday, March 27, 2012 (18:45:51) |
Like a silk shadow this one, very interesting poem Sammi and as always a pleasure reading your work.
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by FuchsiaFestival! on Tuesday, March 27, 2012 (19:06:11) |
Thank you, this was a very silky shadow. A good way of putting it.
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by Zbird on Tuesday, March 27, 2012 (18:57:25) |
one of those poems that takes the readers breath away. what an awesome write. I could swear I commented on this one before. Must have been so impressed by it I totally forgot what else I was doing!
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Re: Deadened Moon
(Score: 1 )
by FuchsiaFestival! on Tuesday, March 27, 2012 (19:05:03) |
Thank you. I'm glad you appreciated this. This was inspired by a recent incident.
Added on: 18-Mar-2012 | Hits: 384 |
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