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Poems - The Fat Chic

The Fat Chic

by cactusdapoet

Well, What had happened was...

I was drunk,
doing Jager-bombs, shots of Jose'
and this fat chic with
four knee caps

started looking kinda good.

So I said

"Hey Baby! what's your name?"

You know to let her know
I was interested.

I bought her a drink,
a Bacardi and diet
cuz' I guess she's a little
senisitive about her wieght.

She smiled that big
double chin grin
as I sat at her table
with her other fat friends
having those fat-girl conversations
about Jenny Craig and slimfast,
while I'm thinking the whole time, Bitch
Just put the fucking fork down.

so the bar closes down,
she kisses me with that fat girl tongue
which tasted like chicken and bar-b-q sauce
I say "come home with me"
she says "I can't I only just met you"
I say come on I'll put some
'ribs on the grill'

Well needless to say
we ended up at my house,
where one thing lead to another
and we ended up in my bed
making out.

Now I'm somewhat of a player
so my crib is kinda tight.
the room was only lighted
with candle light.

The clothes started coming off
It was a sea of pale flabby skin.

I immediatley blew out the candles

We started to fuck

I tried to picture every issue of playboy
that came to mind.

But that just wasn't e'nuff
I couldn't keep it up.
So I stuck in a porn
and got back to work
cuz' fucking a fattie is still
better than jerking off

I came
not really caring if she got off
or not.

She went to the kitchen
for a swanson's hungry man diner
and a bowl of ice cream
a pack of twinkee's
I just played my x-box

But Then

Then
I heard her talking on her cell phone
saying,
"I can't believe I fucked that fat guy"

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"The Fat Chic" | Login/Create an Account | 6

The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.

Re: The Fat Chic (Score: 1 )
by Phoebe on Monday, March 26, 2012 (02:21:58)

I was going to admonish you for your insensitivity but that was as I was reading down and then, I came to the end...and I think this poem has made my day totally...what a fabulously hilarious write probably based on many peoples' realities more or less..absolutely top marks cactus... Smile

-Phoebe

| Parent

Re: The Fat Chic (Score: 1 )
by Zbird on Monday, March 26, 2012 (08:12:52)

hmmmm... interesting concept and maybe a lesson to be learned. Smile

| Parent

Re: The Fat Chic (Score: 1 )
by opalkoi on Monday, March 26, 2012 (08:25:36)

The title got my attention and the ending made it worth it , a entertaining poem

| Parent

Re: The Fat Chic (Score: 1 )
by maryanns on Monday, March 26, 2012 (14:34:34)

Geez, it does have a certain redeeming sense of humor about it, especially at the end. Cheers, Mary Ann

| Parent

Re: The Fat Chic (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, March 27, 2012 (01:12:23)

G'day Cactus...
I guess this is a win-win or a lose-lose poem...depending on how you look at life. Whatever, it's humorous.
Thanks matey.
Lindsay

| Parent

Re: The Fat Chic (Score: 1 )
by butterflyzrfree on Wednesday, March 28, 2012 (16:02:40)

Great story!!!! I can't help but love the end, as I was planning on writing a nasty remark on how sexist you were!!!! hahahahaha Thanks for the laugh! Gail

| Parent

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Added on: 26-Mar-2012 | Hits: 159 |

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