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Poems - Adultery

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Adultery

by liarbird

I was listening to Father O’Leary,
as he was sternly professin’,
that some of his flock had gone missin’,
and not been attending confessi’n.

I suppose he was talkin’ bout me,
and that’s why he’s babblin’ along,
but I have no need of confessi’n,
‘cause I ain’t done anything wrong!

That’s when the old Father mentioned,
the commandments of which there are ten,
and asked me, to recite them in order,
but the old Father had got me again.

I could not remember the first one,
but I know that we shouldn’t steal,
and murder in the eyes of the Lord,
is a sin that he never can heal.

So the old Father started explaining,
and testaments entered his chat,
when he started explaining adultery…
I said, “What in the bloody hell’s that?”

“Adultery young man” He first said,
“Is purely sexual without any tact,
committed between men and women,
outside of the church marriage act.”

Father added, “What I’m asking of you…
have you slept with another man’s wife?
adultery is sin; it pays a big price,
and affects you for the rest of your life.”

I gulped and I gasped, and taken aback,
I stumbled to answer his take on this vice,
So quietly I said “No Father I haven’t,
but I could have dozed off once or twice.”




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Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
by Essex68 on Thursday, April 05, 2012 (04:41:33)
Thank you, That gave me a good chuckle this morning. Fantastic flow and meter.

| Parent
    Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
    by liarbird on Monday, April 09, 2012 (04:47:43)
    Thanks again Wayne for your comment. Yes, it's a good way to start the day off.
    Catch you later
    Lindsay

    | Parent

Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
by Phoebe on Thursday, April 05, 2012 (04:44:16)
hehehe..You're a character fer sure, fer sure Lindsay, and I'm confessin' this is a bonza write..enjoyed every word...Very Happy Phoebe

| Parent
    Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
    by liarbird on Monday, April 09, 2012 (04:49:53)
    G'day Phoebe...
    It's a very touchy subject if one doesn't understand what it means. Thank you once again Phoebe.
    Lindsay

    | Parent

Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Thursday, April 05, 2012 (05:37:43)
Ha ha! Another of your funny ones with that great punch line at the end! A treat to read.

| Parent
    Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
    by liarbird on Monday, April 09, 2012 (04:53:24)
    Thanks again Rory...
    Sometimes dabbling with religious connections can provide great humour Rory...I suppose if we get this commandment wrong, there's nine more that will us through the gates.
    Catch you Rory
    Lindsay

    | Parent

Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
by deepali on Thursday, April 05, 2012 (06:52:56)
ROTFL!!! Laughing Laughing Laughing
Shouldn't have... Laughing

D

| Parent
    Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
    by liarbird on Monday, April 09, 2012 (04:58:31)
    G'day deepali...
    No you shouldn't have deepali. It's a very serious subject but of course we must try and see the funny side in most situations. I can almost see the look on the old Father's face when he heard this.
    Thanks again deepali
    Lindsay

    | Parent
      Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
      by deepali on Monday, April 09, 2012 (06:24:55)
      ha..ha.. i wish to...just one bite of that sweet forbidden apple.. Smile
      Even I could visualize Father's face..God!

      One request, friend. How can i see your recital recordings? Are they on YouTube...by what name do i search?
      love and best wishes,
      D.

      | Parent

Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
by vexations on Thursday, April 05, 2012 (11:22:51)
Solid and clever!

| Parent
    Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
    by liarbird on Monday, April 09, 2012 (05:00:43)
    G'day William...
    Thanks for reading and dropping in a comment. I appreciate it.
    Lindsay

    | Parent

Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
by maryanns on Thursday, April 05, 2012 (11:38:10)
Ooo-wee... Great toetappin' rhythm going in this one, it's still runnin' through my head. Love his conclusion, too... just priceless, Lindsay!
Cheers and wishin' you a very happy Easter. Mary Ann Smile

| Parent
    Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
    by liarbird on Monday, April 09, 2012 (05:05:03)
    Thank you Maryann...
    We had a great Easter. Will be eating leftovers for a month.
    I never took this as lyrical until after your comment...yeah.
    I dunno about priceless. I think a few 'hail Mary's' would have been echoing through the church.
    Thanks again my good friend
    Lindsay

    | Parent

Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
by WordLover on Thursday, April 05, 2012 (17:48:05)
Lindsay, you made this lost Catholic girl laugh out loud this morning! Thanks - this is priceless!
Sandy

| Parent
    Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
    by liarbird on Monday, April 09, 2012 (05:08:45)
    Hello there Sandy...
    I'm pleased you got a bit of a chuckle out of this one Sandy.
    It kind of leaves you with the thought of how silly the bloke is in an innocent sort of way.
    Thanks again Sandy for your support.
    Lindsay

    | Parent

Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
by rondo on Thursday, April 05, 2012 (23:16:42)
always a great yarn Lindsay Laughing

| Parent
    Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
    by liarbird on Monday, April 09, 2012 (05:10:02)
    Thank you Ronald...
    I'm pleased you enjoyed this bit of tomfoolery.
    Lindsay

    | Parent

Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
by doris on Friday, April 06, 2012 (12:20:25)
This was great fun! I love it.

| Parent
    Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
    by liarbird on Monday, April 09, 2012 (05:12:05)
    G'day Doris...
    Thank you once again for commenting. I'm pleased that you had a bit of a laugh out of my silliness.
    Catch you soon Doris
    Lindsay

    | Parent

Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
by Zbird on Friday, April 06, 2012 (21:38:40)
lol! what a fun and funny yarn you do spin my friend!

| Parent
    Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
    by liarbird on Monday, April 09, 2012 (05:14:26)
    G'day Bonnie...
    Thank you once again Bonnie for supporting what I post. This yarn spinning is a habit I just can't seem to get out of.
    Regards
    Lindsay

    | Parent

Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
by omegapaf on Tuesday, April 10, 2012 (07:51:34)
ha ha. isn't one of the commandments about not coverting thy neighbours ox?.....or is it wife?....or your ox's wife? ha ha.
got your e-mail mate. aawww gawwwd the kid threw up in the car? yuck!!
- luckily there is nothing in the bible about shouting at your neighbours...or i'd go straight to hell ha ha - paul and the holy hound.

| Parent
    Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
    by liarbird on Monday, April 16, 2012 (03:49:41)
    g'day Paul...
    The Bible is open to interpretation on every subject so you are not out of the woods yet. No, not the kid Paul...the big thirty year old kid with a magnum of wine stored in his stomach.
    Thanks again mate
    Lindsay

    | Parent

Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
by wolfinwindow on Monday, April 16, 2012 (11:09:58)
That was funny and very well written. I enjoyed it very much.

| Parent
    Re: Adultery (Score: 1 )
    by liarbird on Tuesday, April 17, 2012 (01:56:17)
    G'day Linda...
    Thanks again Linda. I'm pleased that you enjoyed this little bit of silliness.
    Catch you soon.
    Lindsay

    | Parent


[ liarbird's profile | Commenting Members (13) | | ]

  Added on: 05-Apr-2012 | Hits: 447 | Full author copyright - Exclusive Right held by author.



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