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Poems - Kids who test Adults
| | Kids who test Adultsby liarbird
We’ve just endured a weekend; and it’s a weekend I must tell,
that was more just like a journey; yes, a journey into hell,
we had a family get together, and with good friends as well,
where two little terrors on the march taught me to scream and yell.
They were in and out of cupboards; they destroyed my garden beds,
and they found things that I could not, inside some of my sheds.
They started motors, pulled up carrots, even did some gluing;
this is just to mention what I caught those buggers doing.
And to top it off I’m sure we have lost a couple of friends
when I lost me patience, and I kicked a pair of rear ends.
Of course I got a speech when my wife and I were on our own,
about my need for self control, and then not to moan and groan.
So now you have got the picture, I was but a mental wreck,
who was claimed as over acting so I copped it in the neck,
even though me house and yard appear a cyclone has gone through,
and because I blew a bloody fuse, my actions I must rue.
I must learn some self control; I’m not allowed to raise my ire,
I most be lenient and patient, and not light an angry fire,
I have to think about blood pressure and even heart attack,
and not press the panic button if those buggers do come back.
Then I thought I’d found me savior at the local super-mart,
when shopping for replacements that are broke or torn apart,
for as I sauntered down one aisle, I could see ahead of me
a grandpa and his grandson who was about the age of three.
And this kid was just a horror; a brat who is spoilt rotten,
he was screaming, he was swearing, his manners were forgotten,
he bawled out for all his wants and he was noticed that’s for sure
with biscuits, sweets and cans of soup, lying scattered ‘cross the floor.
But the grandfather stayed calm, his tone had barely raised a tad;
he just uttered ‘Easy William, we won't be long . . . easy, lad,’
but the little brat cranked up a gear to reach a higher level
by upturning grandpa’s trolley; the evil little devil!
Surely…surely…the grandfather, could not take this brat no more.
But I was wrong again; if it was me I would have cursed and swore,
but not this man, he calmly stated ‘Its okay William boy,
just a couple of minutes more, and once more there will be joy.’
I’m amazed how patient Grandpa is, by his answer in this case,
I would have killed that bloody kid, but this fellow showed more grace,
then his grandson went berserk, tossing items at the ‘checkout chick,’
but again his voice was tranquil, when I would have used a stick.
‘William relax, don't get upset. We'll be home soon, keep your cool,’
and I admit I learnt a lesson when I could have played the fool.
I was impressed with his reaction, so the right thing I should do,
is to follow him out to his car, and praise this Grandpa too.
With the kid tied in his seat belt and an ice cream in each hand,
his Grandpa was standing at the boot and stacking as he’d planned,
so with idle chat, I stated, ‘It’s not my business I know,
but you were amazing in the store, with poise that you did show.’
‘I don’t how you do it mate; I’d kick that kid fair up the bum,
but you were so composed, serene, and much more patient than some,
for as you tried to calm the boy, not one hint of anger grew,
William is such a lucky boy, to have a grandpa like you.’
Our eyes met for quite some time, and a frown formed on his brow.
He gave a long deep sigh and then replied ‘For a while somehow,
I thought that you were stalking me, but now I am back on track…
actually MY name is William…that little BASTARD’S name is Jack!
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by Phoebe on Wednesday, May 02, 2012 (02:45:36) |
BLOODY BRILLIANT!!!! Omg...hahahahahaha!!! thank you Lindsay
 Phoebe
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (02:39:45) |
G'day kids...
Ah kids aye...another reason why we love them. They give us something to talk about at a barby.
Thank you Phoebe
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by Essex68 on Wednesday, May 02, 2012 (03:27:24) |
Another fine piece of humour Lindsay. I was waiting for the twist at the end, and what a twst t was lol. Nice one mate.
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (02:47:16) |
Thank you Wayne...
I do get a kick out of writing joke poetry I must admit.
Catch you soon.
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by WordLover on Wednesday, May 02, 2012 (13:34:33) |
Oh my gosh!!!! hahahahahaha - thank you for this one Lindsay - what a wonderful twisty ending!!! I loved it - thanks for the smiles!!
Sandy
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (02:54:51) |
Hello there Sandy...
I'm pleased you got a kick out of these loutish kids and their tormentors.
Catch you later Sandy
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by maryanns on Wednesday, May 02, 2012 (17:31:53) |
Ha-ha-ha... your poem really hits the spot, at least for those of us who've raised our own brood and no longer seem to have the patience of Job... Really cute and an especially delightful twist at the tail end!!
Keep 'um coming, mate - Cheers, Mary Ann
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (03:00:24) |
Ah maryann...
tis the time of grandparents for us. A time when we must hand the little blighters back and clean up the wreckage...
how did we ever cope?
Like most parents I dare say.
Thank you Maryann.
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by MoZark on Wednesday, May 02, 2012 (21:06:28) |
With my day about to end and nothing much to count
you come up with this humdinger of dealing with this sprout.
One must be careful these days while slamming the little bloke
He’ll get himself a lawyer and you’ll wine up naked and broke.
Have a grand tomorrow… “Jack” 
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (03:07:33) |
G'day Jack...
A nice little rhyming adage to remind us all that lawyers are always looking for a case. Thanks mate.
How true it is. Our nephew in primary school threatened his parents years ago. Who taught him to act like that?
Catch you later jack
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by Glen on Thursday, May 03, 2012 (02:51:08) |
very good great and the end was brilliant
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (03:12:05) |
G'day there Glen...
Thanks mate. One game to go and the world turns blue.
It must be a nervous week for you Glen.
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by Zbird on Thursday, May 03, 2012 (08:23:04) |
lmfao! omg! I have been there and know how hard it is to keep your cool when parents are allowing their little bastards... er I mean angels... destroy YOUR property and not even try to control them. I love the end! What a fun way to start my day!
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (03:18:47) |
G'day there Bonnie...
Thanks again for dropping in. We had an example of this over easter. No wonder they give cyclones christian names.
Where no human could control a little girl, our little Jack Russell finally did the job.
Thanks Bonnie
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by deepali on Thursday, May 03, 2012 (09:48:59) |
G'day Lidsay!
The happiness you spread around with your wonderful poems
is really so nice of you!
Thanks for sharing this.
D.
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (03:23:54) |
G'day deepali...
It's like a ray of sunshine to have you drop in and read my poems and then leave your encouraging comment. I trust all is going well for you.
Catch you soon deepali
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by omegapaf on Thursday, May 03, 2012 (12:51:23) |
ha ha ha did jack get a crack on the back of his head? ha ha...another reason why i hate going to the supermarket - paul and the hyperactive hound.
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (03:28:28) |
G'day Paul...
I guess that's the reason why some of us keep hounds as company...they are predictable with their habits (apart from dislocating knees) whereas kids...well who knows.
Thanks mate
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by PTROCK4950 on Thursday, May 03, 2012 (15:00:09) |
Such classic humor in this. Love the entire writting.
Kids, gotta love 'em! But yes, parents should be accountable for the little ones behaviour while they are still at the age of innocence, once they're older is another story.
Cheers mate.
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (03:37:44) |
G'day Pete...
Thanks for reading and commenting. I agree totally with your comment. At times I reckon kids are the best comedians of all...because of their honesty. At other times parents seem their own agenda as little Johnny runs wild.
Catch you soon Pete.
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Friday, May 04, 2012 (06:16:17) |
Classic humour, first-rate stuff with that twist at the end that you always manage so well!
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (03:42:31) |
G'day Rory...
Thanks mate. You must understand that most of this ballad is a true story. Talk about whelan the wrecker...multiply that by three.
Catch you soon Rory
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by BrokenWordsPoet on Friday, May 04, 2012 (11:39:12) |
This is one amazing story; what a wonderfully funny piece. The punch line had me smiling and laughing.
I went through an ordeal where I said as the two little boys were leaving Thank God their mother came and got them for sure there would have been murder. Before the mother got to the end of my drive they jumped out screaming I'm staying with Uncle James. You should have seen my face.
One fine write. Favorite...
BWP...
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (03:49:11) |
G'day James...
Thanks for reading and commenting. To tell you the truth I got more of a laugh out of your comment than I ever would out of the poem. It's priceless James.
Thank you
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by sedubah on Monday, May 07, 2012 (16:44:12) |
Liar bird,
I love the twist at the end
Some times you have to encourage yourself.
Sedubah
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (03:55:28) |
G'day Ken...
You're dead right Ken, but talking to yourself in a supermarket might attract undeserved attention also. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by rondo on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 (07:57:28) |
I see nothing wrong with a good wack across the bum for stress relief  great tale
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Saturday, May 12, 2012 (05:24:33) |
g'day Ronald...
Totally agree Ronald, but these days we have do gooders with shares in legal firms prowling around. They're the one's I'd like to whack.
Thanks mate.
Lindsay
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by Pujakins on Sunday, May 27, 2012 (20:04:12) |
A ten and a heart for sure. This is a wonderful poem! Loved the story, so clevr. You ar the best balladeer! Hugs and Blessings, Tasha
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Re: Kids who test Adults
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Thursday, May 31, 2012 (01:12:49) |
G'day Tasha...
Thank you once again Tasha. As much as this poem is written as fiction, there is hardly an adult who cannot to this with a story of a child who runs rampant but the child is mostly mischevious, not bad...and we were all children once with a touch of rebel in us.
Bye for now Tasha
Lindsay
Added on: 02-May-2012 | Hits: 328 |
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