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Poems - Sent to Coventry
| | Sent to Coventryby liarbird
Shopping, bloody shopping. One thing I hate is shopping.
Every time she sees a window, the wife then has me stopping
to gawk at everything from shoes to hats, and anything between,
where all that I can think about is where I can’t be seen.
But I made a big mistake that put, me on rations for a year,
when I thought she wouldn’t notice when I chose to disappear,
and it was at least an hour later when I heard my mobile ring,
with a very irate caller, and I was doing all the listening.
“Where in the hell are you!” Came screaming down the line,
“I’m wasting shopping time you fool!” Is a clear and simple sign
that I need to calm the situation, but I soon found out again,
that women have no sense of humour; not like us witty men.
So I said “Sweetheart, do you remember when you made me stop,
and gaze at that diamond necklace that was in a jewelers shop,
and you fell in love with it, so I promised you one day,
when I finally have the money, then it will come your way.”
Immediately the ice had melted, and her tone mellowed somehow,
“Oh darling, yes, I do remember; is that where you are now?”
I could have answered better than mentioning that jewelry store,
and adding “No I’m not there love, you’ll find me in the pub next door.”
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by Essex68 on Monday, June 04, 2012 (03:24:52) |
Another great piece, made me chuckle. Talking of pubs, I think that's where I will be heading this lunchtime for a good roast dinner. It's bloody Jubilee this weekend and it's doing my head in lol.
Catch you later mate.
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Friday, June 08, 2012 (01:59:05) |
G'day Wayne...
I didn't watch a second of the jubilee but I note in your last posting that they dished you up union jacks. When's the next one Wayne?
Thanks mate
Lindsay
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Monday, June 04, 2012 (06:00:19) |
The words and actions of a very wise man! I'm glad you escaped alive, Lindsay!
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Friday, June 08, 2012 (02:01:07) |
Thanks Rory...
I guess I had to get a few in before the trouble starts...oh, and to build up some Dutch courage.
Thanks Rory
Lindsay
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by deepali on Monday, June 04, 2012 (06:21:55) |
"but I soon found out again,
that women have no sense of humour; not like us witty men."
... you bet
...and you havn't found out enough as yet..  
D.
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Friday, June 08, 2012 (02:04:38) |
G'day deepili...
Definately tongue in cheek. What I did find out, we have a different sense of humour deepali and I'm still learning that.
Thank you once again deepali
Lindsay
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by Glen on Monday, June 04, 2012 (07:44:06) |
another good one from you keep them coming they are great make me chuckle every time
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Friday, June 08, 2012 (02:06:45) |
G'day Glen...
Thanks again for dropping in Glen. I'm surprised that you're still not out celebrating.
Catch you soon Glen
Lindsay
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by omegapaf on Monday, June 04, 2012 (19:25:31) |
i've been to coventry.......i wouldn't recommend it ha ha - paul and the sent to coventry hound.
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Friday, June 08, 2012 (02:08:37) |
G'day Paul...
I have been to Coventry many times. Don't like the food much...cold shoulder and hot tongue.
Catch you soon Paul
Lindsay
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by BrokenWordsPoet on Tuesday, June 05, 2012 (09:12:21) |
You had me laughing on the fourth line of the first stanza; because I know the feeling especially when it comes to the things in between. Why does a woman have to look at every pair of panties in the store; hell I could pick them out a pair in a few minutes and them it takes a few hours; WHY?. I think you got your best laugh on that fourth line but it went down hill from there; all men know the story from there; except for; “Where in the hell are you!” Came screaming down the line, “I’m wasting shopping time you fool!”. That line gave me some laughs, sounded like the fear of abduction when a woman is looking for a lost child. Had me wondering how she dressed you. Then it went down hill from there; women don't care when it comes to jewelry if you have the money or not as long as you have credit; dod of a stanza to me they gonna claim down anyway because she loves you. Now the final stanza, “No I’m not there love, you’ll find me in the pub next door.” ; to which my wife would come back; "well you just better find your ass back over to this store and don't make me wait toooo long." Now she is waiting on me and that is frighting.
I have learned there is an art to taking the wife shopping; I call it the drop to shop; while she shops I go and get the things done that I went to town for in the first place. Then when I get back to the store I only have to wait a few more hours sitting in the chair at the front door to the store; at times I feel so forgotten. 
BWP...
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Friday, June 08, 2012 (02:11:38) |
G'day James...
A very funny comment. There's a poem in there for sure and it could be named the great divide or simply Why?
Shopping is an art I guess...I'll stick to writing...if I'm allowed to.
Thank you James
Lindsay
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by MoZark on Tuesday, June 05, 2012 (11:23:04) |
Oh yes, this not only brought a laugh but some not so fine memories of the shopping mull, and me tagging, sagging and lagging behind and saying don’t you think it’s time to go the kids are getting tired. You’re a wonder my friend. Have a grand tomorrow…Jack
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Friday, June 08, 2012 (02:14:58) |
G'day Jack...
I kind of hoping that the men who read this would understand the poem better than the ladies, and then maybe, they will be more sympathetic on shopping day...
like dropping us off at the pub to avoid an argument.
Catch you Jack.
Lindsay
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by Pujakins on Friday, June 08, 2012 (11:29:02) |
I trust your wife has a good sense of humor! Cute poem. Thanks for these great giggles. Warmly, Tasha
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, June 12, 2012 (23:57:28) |
G'day Tasha...
Yeah well, I hope my wife has Tasha. If my wife happened to be at a venue where I was reciting I always kept one eye on what she held in her hand.
Thanks Tasha.
Lindsay
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by rondo on Sunday, June 10, 2012 (18:51:24) |
you come up with more ways to get in the dog house Lindsay  ....great write
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, June 12, 2012 (23:59:17) |
Yes Ronald...
And that's why I make sure our dog doesn't have fleas.
Thanks mate
Lindsay
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by Zbird on Thursday, July 26, 2012 (09:52:59) |
lmao you little rascal!
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Re: Sent to Coventry
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, July 31, 2012 (20:44:24) |
G'day Bonnie...
Not me...the rascal is my divorced mate.
Thanks Bonnie
Lindsay
Added on: 04-Jun-2012 | Hits: 235 |
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