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Poems - It Could Have Been Much Worse

It Could Have Been Much Worse

by liarbird

Have you ever met those kind of blokes who get upon your nerve,
when they quote continual references that most think should deserve
a threatening confrontation that if they make that quote again,
then the punishment that’s handed out will give them heaps of pain.

A gang of us were working down along the Main Drain stream,
clearing blackberries and willows on a governmental scheme,
and as usual on a Monday morn, weekend glitches are highlighted,
that are full of doom and gloom, and mostly are ‘beer blighted.’

For Clancy, Joe and me, we sort of blessed the doom and gloom,
as it transgressed into humour, and so there wasn’t any room,
for the likes of workmate Charlie who only ever saw a bright side,
when there wasn’t any bright side; just a great gloomy divide.

Charlie is the eternal optimist with no matter what is said
in the ghastliest of circumstance even if someone was dead,
and Charlie only had one quote that we’re sure he did rehearse,
and so we heard it every time ‘It could have been much worse.’

So after work one evening in the pub we had some beers,
with ‘it could have been much worse,’ still ringing loudly in our ears,
and with Charlie being absent we devised a cunning plan,
to rid him of that bloody quote and then praying that we can.

We thought that as a perfect subject we would use our good mate Ted,
in a steamy sordid untrue yarn to get inside of Charlie’s head,
and have him shaking in his bootstraps, plus gulping in his throat,
to avoid us hearing one more time, his annoying bloody quote.

And so ‘it could have been much worse’ is about to get the chop,
as we cut and piled the prickly canes, of a large blackberry crop,
so when the time was ready, with Charlie well within ear shot,
Joe babbled out the sordid tale that was really ‘Tommyrot.’

“Did you hear about our old mate Ted, and what went on last night?
He caught his wife with Jimmy Hale, and there was a shocking fight;
he shot ‘em both and then himself!” But Charlie stayed quite calm but terse,
as he rolled a smoke and muttered out, “It could have been much worse.”

“Much worse!” We chorused together, “How can it be worse than that?”
And the answer Charlie gave us…well it really knocked us flat,
after dragging on his cigarette, he sniffed and quietly said,
“If it had have been the night before, it’s me who would be dead.”

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The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.

Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by Phoebe on Wednesday, June 13, 2012 (06:12:56)

Ohhhhhhhhhh Lindsay!!!!! I'm getting peculiar looks from my fellow house mates here because I'm hooting all over the place...this is another bonza 1 m8!!!.. Very Happy

Phoebe

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, June 20, 2012 (02:47:04)

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by Essex68 on Wednesday, June 13, 2012 (06:18:53)

Another fine piece, I deliberately scrolled it down and avoided viewing the last verse to try and guess the twist. I wasn’t far off as it happened. It reminds me of a bloke I know down my local boozer. His catch phrase is “Oh that’s nothing” Believe me if you have swam the English channel he has swum the Atlantic, If you have climbed Everest, he put the flag on it etc. I feel a poem coming on.

Cheers for the laughs this morning mate, take care. Wayne

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, June 20, 2012 (02:49:06)

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by Kieran on Wednesday, June 13, 2012 (12:21:38)

I love a poem with a punchline. Your raconteur's poetics and troubador voice are unique on GP. Thank for a chuckle.

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, June 20, 2012 (02:52:31)

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by BrokenWordsPoet on Wednesday, June 13, 2012 (22:55:51)

Damn! I think you made me laugh to hard; which side of the chest is the heart on? Who told Ted? And is Charlie now dead?

Funny beyond belief; so keep them coming.

My friend the floatingpoet is back and got him a new hen. I am sure he will be checking in.

BWP...

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, June 20, 2012 (02:56:07)

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by MoZark on Thursday, June 14, 2012 (07:46:23)

Don’t ya just gotta love the Charlies of the world? We have one we call “Know it all Roby” Have a grand tomorrow…Jack

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, June 20, 2012 (02:58:53)

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by maryanns on Friday, June 15, 2012 (14:03:23)

Ah, I could truly see you blokes sweatin' there amongst the prickly blackberry bushes hatchin' your fool-proof plan... But it's hard to get anything past the Charlies of the world, eh Lindsay?

Tee-hee, a laugh a day... Thank you, Mate. Mary Ann

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, June 20, 2012 (03:27:11)

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by omegapaf on Friday, June 15, 2012 (14:10:11)

ha ha. nice one mate. we knew a charlie at the post office, who's only topic of conversation was soap operas. he would quote soap opera catchphrases....we used to call him " soapy " - paul and the footie fan hound.

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, June 20, 2012 (03:30:15)

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by Zbird on Friday, June 15, 2012 (16:07:45)

Yep! I can relate to this one! we all have that person with those annoying quotes... love love love the ending!!!! truly inspired!

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, June 20, 2012 (03:33:15)

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by deepali on Tuesday, June 26, 2012 (03:54:01)

I enjoyed the poem, all the comments and replies.. Smile

the punchlines and camaraderie is super Smile

warm wishes,
D.

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Tuesday, June 26, 2012 (05:07:48)

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by Pujakins on Wednesday, June 27, 2012 (22:09:41)

Oh you get a ten and a heart fro me this time, me Boyo! I enjoyed this wonderful poem. You sure know how to turn them out!!! Great rhymes and rhythm too. Hugs and Blessings, Tasha

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Re: It Could Have Been Much Worse (Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Wednesday, July 04, 2012 (03:06:20)

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