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Poems - The drowning

The drowning

by Gary

People walk along these streets
Strutting and dog walking, walking
The white surf crashes, crashes beside
Beside them, this life is very attractive

Then the truth is out there
In the far off deep ocean
Where the drowning occurs
All the bodies swishing and
All the souls sitting
Watching the drowning

White and pink flowers
Beside coffee tables
And prams
The big rock unmoved
By the crashing
Crashing waves

And then lined up
Pram pusher
Twenty five and child fourteen months,
Runner seventeen years
Construction worker thirty five
Women in boots forty
Heading for the same spot

People walk along these streets
Strutting and dog walking, walking

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"The drowning" | Login/Create an Account | 8

The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.

Re: The drowning (Score: 1 )
by induce on Friday, August 31, 2012 (23:39:44)

Gary, I enjoyed all the intertwined movement in your poem.

keep it up mate,
andye

| Parent

Re: The drowning (Score: 1 )
by Gary on Friday, August 31, 2012 (23:41:39)

| Parent

Re: The drowning (Score: 1 )
by Rabbitt on Saturday, September 01, 2012 (10:00:27)

The repetition of some of the words has a dramatic effect. The indifference of the walkers makes me think of the song, "Ode to Billy Joe". Nice write!

| Parent

Re: The drowning (Score: 1 )
by Gary on Saturday, September 01, 2012 (20:45:12)

| Parent

Re: The drowning (Score: 1 )
by maryanns on Saturday, September 01, 2012 (15:25:36)

Watching, as well as reading thoughtful poems like yours is a marvelous eye opening sport. Especially love street scenes.. reminds me of Hermosa Beach. Best wishes, Mary Ann

| Parent

Re: The drowning (Score: 1 )
by Gary on Saturday, September 01, 2012 (20:47:42)

| Parent

Re: The drowning (Score: 1 )
by FuchsiaFestival! on Sunday, September 02, 2012 (15:22:06)

Dark and painful. The idea of souls looking into the death scenes is enough to make one pause and think.

| Parent

Re: The drowning (Score: 1 )
by Gary on Sunday, September 02, 2012 (19:53:34)

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Added on: 31-Aug-2012 | Hits: 299 |

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