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Poems - Braile


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by dilutedjoy

i have felt the frailty of her nightly bed manner
the castles crumbling with brutal grace
brushing the mischief from her mouth
and the dwelling breath of exhaled stars
the song in her eyes
was a silk swoon
whose persistence meant
her garden still needs attending

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"Braile" | Login/Create an Account | 7
The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.

Very enjoyable - Sub (Score: 1 )
by greygrynn on Wednesday, August 22, 2007 (13:49:41)
Very enjoyable - Sublime wordplay and flow

| Parent

wow. Exquisite use o (Score: 1 )
by Rax on Thursday, August 23, 2007 (15:42:11)
wow. Exquisite use of language and imagery. enjoyed it thoroughy

| Parent

very mature write. t (Score: 1 )
by brownbwi on Thursday, August 23, 2007 (18:59:12)
very mature write. the imagery works for me. i would have liked to have seen a line grounded in day to day language though. something that might draw the reader in to contemplate the heaviness of the other words. the last line sort of does it but i think it might not be enough. just my H.O.

| Parent

Loved it, good use o (Score: 1 )
by Helen on Thursday, August 23, 2007 (19:22:24)
Loved it, good use of language.Thank you for sharing.Helen

| Parent

Nice imagery and flo (Score: 1 )
by Nolip on Thursday, August 23, 2007 (21:54:55)
Nice imagery and flow.

| Parent

I liked this, great (Score: 1 )
by Missy on Saturday, August 25, 2007 (19:49:25)
I liked this, great imagery and use of words. Keep writing.

| Parent

I love the italics. (Score: 1 )
by natey on Monday, January 07, 2008 (21:38:50)
I love the italics. A little hard to read an entire poem in italics, but I guess it would be harder if you were blind.

| Parent

[ dilutedjoy's profile | Commenting Members (7) | | ]

  Popular Added on: 11-Aug-2007 | Hits: 879 | Full author copyright - Exclusive Right held by author.

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