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Poems - SELF DOUBT AND FEARS
SELF DOUBT AND FEARSby C.BARROW
You took away everything as a man it took me so long to earn,
you took my pride,you took my dignity and self confidence too.
I thought you were the one but a cruel lesson in love I would learn,
by giving my love to one who was not ready to love me too.
Once I was proud and carried myself as a handsome strong man,
after you broke my heart I quickly went into a terrible withdrawal.
Gone was the thought I was worthy of loving from a good woman,
forced onto my knees for you as I was reduced to beg and crawl.
When I looked in the mirror I no longer seen a man to excite my mate,
began to think myself ugly or somehow inferior because you abandoned me.
You who were beautiful and knew that this would determine your fate,
as I felt myself as aged and no woman would in love with me wish to be.
I knew full well all those years that I had been a meal ticket after that,
and I realized there is a huge difference between true love and just sex.
My punishment for not knowing the difference would be to grow old and fat,
allowed to exist in a meaningless role as long as I provided the paychecks.
When I crawled away my confidence broken as my spirit would soon follow,
I thought it was done and that I would just somehow ,unwanted merely survive.
My life was so empty, I saw a shell of a once proud man now broken and hollow,
but alone in combat I once again found my way as a man to completely thrive.
My body was toned but spiritually I found myself torn, yet knowing my place,
for alone, facing life or death I somehow accepted neither or feared one more.
Knowing my purpose in being alone I could see that I am allowed by his grace,
to be wanted,needed and that there is someone that my love, would want and adore.
The hand of fate,not mere chance I am certain came into my life after many years,
something I had needed so desperately and I am sure that God heard my prayers.
She has worked miracles with me and does daily as she quells my unfounded fears,
one by one shows me that for my self perceived inadequacies she has no belief or cares.
Each time she tells me ,"My love you are handsome and you look so incredible",
I regain a little more confidence in the fact that I may indeed be decent to behold.
She instills confidence again in a way that she insures it is to me unforgettable,
That I am hers,that I am loved and I am never inferior or simply just ugly or old.
She loves on me in so many ways and with it massages my once broken heart,
and I in turn have learned to trust and open my heart and soul for my true mate.
In her I find so much of the love I never knew and this led to a wondrous start,
and in the most sacred way ever seen, her love I do so intensely reciprocate.
I have learned so much in the last ten years about life both the bitter and the sweet,
learned to once again trust in myself and in the power of instinct and Gods plan.
For I have found a precious gift who each day lets me know I awesomely complete,
and everyday she takes the time to tell me,"My love you are my one,my Dream Man".
I LOVE YOU,You are incredible with me my "Bonnie"......
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(Score: 1 )
by B.Parker on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 (22:19:26)
Astounding.... You always make it look so easy, C. And the secret I learned thru life through out the bitter and the sweet: Its my job to make the one I love feel like a million bucks. Or I'm not doing it right. And you have already bestowed millions on me. You are a rarity, love.
I love you sweetheart....Your C. will always tell you how much you mean to him..plain and simple...I love my girl.
(Score: 1 )
by C.BARROW on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 (23:08:29)
Added on: 19-Feb-2008 | Hits: 3164 |