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Yesterday's Top
Rank Name
 01: isitpoetry 02: life2all 03: dav.smith 04: questionajou... 05: induce 06: jadia4708au 07: romeo_blackh... 08: Tiku 09: Izmeiah 10: vexations 11: tentoes 12: doNotcallmeJan 13: JustChris
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Poems - cascades (tanka)
 
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How blue..."
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I'm sorry, I'm too hilarious for my own good. I should be in a cell marked 'WARNING: Charisma!'
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love the comments!!!!!!
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 ....reading a gud tanka after a long time 
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you would have to include THOSE colors in your comment, cheeky cheeky cheeky i dunno about the shivering boulders, the image comes from a hiking trip i took and my friend remarked that the mountain stream was so cold that the boulders shivered, and right then a couple of them trembled and broke loose and tumbled down the waterfall, just like tears...Oooo should i change "shivering" to "trembling" instead??
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jess
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jess
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Sandy
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beautifully described. I'm refreshed, Chris. Your sis, Mary Ann
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A few questions: Is discarded exactly the right word? my tears mimic the cold streams i feel this is already implied in the context of the short poem it's enclosed in, and since you have so little space to say a lot, maybe trust the reader's mind to connect the dots? ctively connecting dots is what imparts much of the pleasure in reading. A very good and expressive piece.
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'as i weep for you' would no longer be required. I will stop rambling. I have no idea what I'm talking about, as usual.
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this is beautifully done but i hate that you can give imagery of crying so well....  now... i need to eat me a pear!!!
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i love pears, i make a wonderful poached pear dessert with port wine. yummm
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and please sir.... don't tease the tongue not nice at all
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best wishes conor
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chris
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 Added on: 07-May-2010 | Hits: 2143 |
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