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Poems - When you died

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When you died

by Dreaming-Demon

From this dream I can't awaken
all I've loved from me was taken
one wish...only to arise
from this life I now despise

Nightmares reveal familiar places
haunted still by ghostly faces
words resound-never were spoken
my soul is damned, my heart is broken

I dwell within this horrid gloom
hushed voices speak my coming doom
how desolate, I roam alone
my last tear drops on your gravestone

This darkness vast...deep in my sorrow
how I dread one more tomorrow
your spirit sleeps beneath the moon
my love, the sun will rise too soon

though worlds away your presence lingers
your icy breath, those wandering fingers
silence now to fill the void...
for when you died, I was destroyed.





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Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by PinkNeonFlavor on Sunday, July 11, 2010 (01:50:39)
beautiful piece my friend Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

| Parent
    Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
    by Dreaming-Demon on Sunday, July 11, 2010 (04:39:26)
    Thank you my friend

    | Parent

Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by Disfrazada on Sunday, July 11, 2010 (06:49:59)
Amazing poetry my friend! Of course this will be going to my favs.

Take care of yourself Raymond....
Disfrazada

| Parent
    Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
    by Dreaming-Demon on Sunday, July 11, 2010 (09:45:11)
    Thank you my friend, much appreciated as always

    | Parent

Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by drachm on Sunday, July 11, 2010 (09:42:57)
Each verse adds to the one before causing the read to grow. Lovely piece indeed. Drachm

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    Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
    by Dreaming-Demon on Sunday, July 11, 2010 (09:45:40)
    Thank you for stopping by my friend, i appreciate it

    | Parent

Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by Keeperofhope on Sunday, July 11, 2010 (15:46:59)
Crying or Very sad such sorrow is felt in here! so sorry for your loose.
big hug!
Jess

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    Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
    by Dreaming-Demon on Friday, December 23, 2011 (23:53:56)
    thank you

    | Parent

Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by electrictiger on Sunday, July 11, 2010 (15:57:06)
A fine poem; I particularly like and relate to the sentiment

"how I dread one more tomorrow"

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    Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
    by Dreaming-Demon on Monday, July 12, 2010 (00:07:45)
    Thank you my friend

    | Parent

Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Sunday, July 11, 2010 (21:50:20)
I didn't like the rhyme scheme at first, but as I continued reading I changed my mind. It's a powerful and sad piece. Well done.

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    Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
    by Dreaming-Demon on Monday, July 12, 2010 (09:09:25)
    thanks for stopping by my friend

    | Parent

Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by questionajourney on Sunday, July 11, 2010 (23:06:14)
beautiful, devastating truth..well done my friend

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    Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
    by Dreaming-Demon on Monday, July 12, 2010 (00:08:14)
    Thank you journey..how have u been?

    | Parent

Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by Liquid_Chaos on Monday, July 12, 2010 (00:08:07)
Such sorrow, but yet beautiful. This is an excellent piece my friend.

Hope all is well,
L_C

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    Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
    by Dreaming-Demon on Monday, July 12, 2010 (09:09:59)
    Thank you my friend

    | Parent

Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by Craigd741 on Monday, July 12, 2010 (13:18:57)
Very powerful and emotive write Dreaming, excellently penned as always.

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Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by maryanns on Monday, July 12, 2010 (13:25:19)
This is one of the most powerful poems of love and loss I've ever read. Your imagry, rhythm and flow are truly heartbreaking.
All my best wishes, my friend. Mary Ann

| Parent

Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by thewholesoul on Monday, July 12, 2010 (16:21:48)
definfinte 10 and fav - a brick solid dark write, flow, word choice, but the sentiment it create was very sad as well. my favourite line

"your spirit sleeps beneath the moon
my love, the sun will rise too soon"

take it real easy mate

conor

| Parent

Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by succor on Thursday, July 15, 2010 (13:44:14)
Powerful dark write: very evocative.

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Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by twistedmistress on Thursday, July 15, 2010 (21:31:40)
from beginning to end
an exquisite masterpiece...


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Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by YesMaam on Thursday, July 15, 2010 (21:47:12)
Sad but good

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Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by nerdgirl on Wednesday, July 21, 2010 (03:12:31)
amazing write DD. Gave me chills.

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Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by induce on Monday, July 26, 2010 (05:50:53)
DD, great word choice, i hope things are lifting if that is possiable,
induce

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Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by StoneColD on Wednesday, August 04, 2010 (19:49:42)
plz get this published... its nothing but a masterpiece... people should study your poetry...no exagerations...fuck this is soo good.. makes me feel like i wanted to write it.. like every word dropping down on this pages fits perfectly... perfect choice of words.. incredible...ok that 's it...im jealous.... hey gd job bro.!

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Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by oSoLovely1986 on Monday, August 30, 2010 (19:42:01)
well written raymond. i can see the emotion you put into it. fav for me. 10

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Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by Superchick on Saturday, December 18, 2010 (21:36:38)
painful and heartbreaking....but a brilliant write Ray!

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Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
by Camille on Sunday, December 26, 2010 (00:59:53)
Dreaming,

An indisputable magnificent write. This particular piece speaks so clearly of the devastation felt when losing a loved one, as your artistic skill painted a brilliantly crafted sorrowful portrait, and was done without any flaws whatsoever. Very well done. Do keep writing, as it is a joy to read your work. ~Camille

| Parent
    Re: When you died (Score: 1 )
    by Dreaming-Demon on Sunday, December 26, 2010 (01:33:37)
    thank you much my friend

    | Parent


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