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Poems - Water's Like Life !
Water's Like Life !by Purple
Life is like a puddle of water, waiting to be splashed in. Life is hard but don’t fall down a waterfall, because water hurt from far up. Don’t let relationships make your water brown and muddy. Life should be like water, calm and clean. If your life falls of track, then you have got on the wrong stream. But first, to get on stream you must accept life for what it really is. Never hold in your emotions like a bag of water. Too much water could put a whole in your life. Don’t let dirty water stain you, because you’ll never get it off your chest. Love may be blind, but you can see right through clean water. Walk through clean water, dirty water will consume you with anger and hatred. Life may not be easy to you, but if life is like water then we all have an easy jobs. When you are ready, a true friend will hand you a clean glass of water. When you have that glass, hold on to if forever. Never taint your water with sins. Take care of yourself and clean your water. Happiness brings out the cleanest water of all. Being a person who’s helped friends clean their water, as left my water stained with bleach. Sadness makes your water dark and moving slow. Happiness helps your ocean move faster. Anger and hatred only brings massive waves and destruction to your life and it makes friends, family and people around you, water dirty and disgusting. Only being the person you need and wish to be will make your water pure and peaceful. Never lie to the people you care for. It only brings leaches to your life.
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Re: Water's Like Life !
(Score: 1 )
by Veils_Mistress on Thursday, January 27, 2011 (20:16:00)
I liked this prose piece a lot. Especially because I am a sucker for prose! But, I would suggest you wouldn't put simile in the title if the poem is all metaphor, unless you return to explain the simile. What I mean is, your poem would imply water is life, it will get dirty sin. It will get harsh by anger; it will be clean with friendship. This is metaphorical. Water like life would be something similar to stating that life is comparable to a body of water. Also, while spelling I never care for, I would watch switching the word "hole" with "whole" as these words, metaphorically, run to completely different destinations. You must watch out for that in a metaphorical poem. Anyway, I'm rambling now. I hope you do not find my criticism negative.
I truly appreciated the poem and I think you did a great job.
Added on: 25-Jan-2011 | Hits: 644 |