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Poems - Job Offer
| | Job Offerby liarbird
I was driving down Webb road, with the thoughts I’ve had all week,
And that is upon the crayfish that I net in Shady Creek,
Webb road is not a long one, but it’s narrow and it winds,
And scrub that’s clinging to the edge is thick and often blinds.
That’s why I guess a cat is squashed upon the edging of the road,
Because pedestrians don’t stand a chance with cars in travelling mode
Where they fly around the corners at a speed that’s way to fast,
But who cares about a flattened cat when they are driving past.
When I parked me car beside the bridge, with the Shady flowing under,
I thought about the lifeless cat, and how I could have made a blunder,
The bait I have is mainly bone, with bits of meat to lure me prey,
When knowing that the meat of cats, is loved better by a cray.
I laid me nets out on the grass, while in me mind there is debate,
Should I use the bones or take a drive, and grab the better bait.
It will take a short ten minutes; therefore the cat will bear the load,
So I’m changing gears back in me car, when driving down Webb road.
With the cat upon me mind, and driving past a farmers home,
The last thing that I expected was a rooster on the roam,
I felt the bird go underneath, and through my mirror at the rear,
All I could see was flying feathers and the Rooster on its ear.
That buggered up me day alright, I’m fishing on this farmers place,
He’ll probably mention ‘shot gun’ when I tell him face to face,
So apprehensively I tapped his door and when he stood in front of me,
I said, “I’ve got news you will not like. Your roosters, a fatality”.
He stared at me with misty eyes, I thought he found it hard to face it,
So I shrugged me shoulders and I said, “Look, allow me to replace it”.
I was nervous waiting his response, and then he threw me right off track…
When he shrugged and answered, “Suit yourself. The chooks are ‘round the
back”.
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| "Job Offer" | Login/Create an Account | 20 |
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by badmalthus on Saturday, March 05, 2011 (01:39:26) |
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...that will teach him to kill a cock Lindsay.
Cheers...Harry
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Sunday, March 06, 2011 (20:00:28) |
G'day Harry...
Too right Harry. Keeping up with a roosters antics might end up killing me too.
Thanks again Harry.
Lindsay
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by ~Mercia~ on Saturday, March 05, 2011 (03:50:27) |
Awww Lindsay, what pub do you drink at mate,? I've got to sit on on your yarn spinnin' before I leave this mortal coil.
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Sunday, March 06, 2011 (20:03:37) |
G'day Mercia...
Crikey, it's a long drive just to listen to my bull dust. You can hear a couple of poems on MP3 under books and spoken. If you're on MP3 can you let me know. I'd like to hear you recite.
Catch you Mercia
Lindsay
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by dav.smith on Sunday, March 06, 2011 (01:21:14) |
A true Aussie all the way you are Liarbird. Bloody brilliant. The ending is a real scream. Laughed me shirt off I did. Cheers for the chuckle,dAVE
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Sunday, March 06, 2011 (20:09:36) |
G'day Dave...
I'm pleased you got a kick out of this one Dave. Everything about this yarn is true (apart from the punch line)
Thanks againg Dave.
Lindsay
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by butterflyzrfree on Sunday, March 06, 2011 (08:44:37) |
 
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Sunday, March 06, 2011 (20:11:58) |
G'day Gail...
I just got a blank page from you. Thanks for reading Gail...
and also, thanks for reciting some of these 'true stories'
Catch you Gail.
Lindsay
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by rondo on Sunday, March 06, 2011 (12:31:19) |
miniscule loss of translation...I take it chooks are hens and he suggested you propagate them....very funny...great poetry/tale
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Sunday, March 06, 2011 (20:15:39) |
G'day Ronald...
You've got it right Ronald. I think the old farmer might have got a bit confused as well.
Thanks mate.
Lindsay
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by Pujakins on Friday, March 11, 2011 (18:32:25) |
Oh MY!!! You are so funny! Thanks for the giggles to go. Love and a hug, big 10 and a fave for you! Tasha
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Monday, March 14, 2011 (22:50:08) |
G'day Tasha...
Thanks again for your support Tasha...it's good to be able to get a laugh out of a ticklish situation.
Lindsay
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by omegapaf on Friday, March 18, 2011 (01:32:10) |
cock a doodle doo ha ha.
........i've had worse jobs ha ha - horny hens and flattened cats....isn't catching crayfish illegal?...sshhhh i wont tell anybody - paul.
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Re: Job Offer
(Score: 1 )
by liarbird on Friday, March 18, 2011 (03:23:25) |
G'day Paul...
Worse jobs that fishing! Or chasing chooks around with an amorous look in your eye! No you catch a few of these monster yabbies but don't let one latch onto your hand. Anyway Paul...over here illegal means its just a sick bird.
Thanks Paul...
Lindsay
Added on: 04-Mar-2011 | Hits: 454 |
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