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Poems - sakura

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sakura

by kylebank

the earth shakes, branches quiver
and we, like ten thousand pink blossoms
are thrown to the wind

buildings fold, like paper-thin petals
and are swept
on silted waves
to the sea





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Re: sakura (Score: 1 )
by mamta on Thursday, March 17, 2011 (08:28:04)
nicely done.

| Parent
    Re: sakura (Score: 1 )
    by kylebank on Thursday, March 17, 2011 (21:31:47)
    thanks mamta!

    | Parent

Re: sakura (Score: 1 )
by butterflyzrfree on Thursday, March 17, 2011 (08:55:00)
Another amazing Haiku-style write about Japan. A truely gifted poet, you are!!!!

| Parent
    Re: sakura (Score: 1 )
    by kylebank on Thursday, March 17, 2011 (21:33:32)
    thanks gail - always great to hear your opinion!

    | Parent

Re: sakura (Score: 1 )
by Ozymandias on Sunday, March 20, 2011 (02:43:22)
A great idea, to use the Japanese concept of sakura as a metaphor. It's that season, too, I guess.

I like the phrase, "silted waves", too.

| Parent

Re: sakura (Score: 1 )
by Izmeiah on Friday, April 08, 2011 (03:50:08)
This is very pretty. Thank you for writing it.

| Parent

Re: sakura (Score: 1 )
by electrictiger on Friday, April 08, 2011 (03:53:20)
So beautiful. And please, forgive me this--stanza one trimmed to

the earth shakes
like ten thousand pink blossoms
are thrown to the wind

seems to increase the power of it.

| Parent

Re: sakura (Score: 1 )
by electrictiger on Friday, April 08, 2011 (03:54:53)
1. Never mind me.
2. What I meant was:

the earth shakes
like ten thousand pink blossoms
thrown to the wind

| Parent

Re: sakura (Score: 1 )
by Ramonez on Tuesday, April 26, 2011 (07:49:40)
"thrown to the wind..." works really well here for me. Nice one.

| Parent

Re: sakura (Score: 1 )
by Farfalla on Tuesday, May 10, 2011 (13:26:18)
Beautiful, potent imaginery.

Farfalla

| Parent
    Re: sakura (Score: 1 )
    by kylebank on Tuesday, May 10, 2011 (13:46:40)
    thank you!

    | Parent

Re: sakura (Score: 1 )
by FuchsiaFestival! on Saturday, October 06, 2012 (18:27:13)
This is beautiful, I love it. I especially liked "buildings fold, like paper-thin petals."

| Parent


[ kylebank's profile | Commenting Members (9) | | ]

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