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Poems - Hitting Rock Bottom

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Hitting Rock Bottom

by Agapi

As I stare into the moon,
And as I gaze into the streaming stars...
I see misery set into my sunken, sleepless eyes.

I cry a thousand rivers,
I sink a ton of ships,
But nothing hurts as much...
As how much this hurts within.

You were my heart,
You were my very ocean...
But the day you vanished out of my life,
It felt like I lost all devotion.





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Re: Hitting Rock Bottom (Score: 1 )
by SEVER on Friday, April 15, 2011 (05:35:46)
I liked your wording in this really painted a vivid image for me to see. I also liked the use of the wording and spacing together really set a nice tone here. Short and effective. I liked it good read .

SEVER
SVR

| Parent

Re: Hitting Rock Bottom (Score: 1 )
by i_monster on Friday, April 15, 2011 (11:31:09)
Great word picture-
Except the end.
Didn't feel like the end line fit well.
8/10 stars

| Parent

Re: Hitting Rock Bottom (Score: 1 )
by Tamara on Friday, April 15, 2011 (13:36:32)
Filled with emotion, although dark. The reader feels your hopelessness, and that's a sign of a good poem.

Thanks for posting.

Best,

Tamara

| Parent


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