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Poems - The Ballad of Ronald McDonald
| | The Ballad of Ronald McDonaldby AsIf
A creepy, androgynous spokesclown was thumbing
A ride on a backroad in Austin one day
I beeped, and he waved when he saw I was coming
I stopped, and said, "Ronald! I'm going your way!"
He got in the car and said, "thanks a lot, dude!"
And I sped off with him- the real king of fast food
I studied that famous big hair on his head
And I saw roots of gray in the fiery red
A rather large hole in his puffy left shoe
Had a dirty, corn-laden big toe pushing through
From crying and sweating, his makeup was streaked
By the look in his eyes, I could tell he was tweaked
He put on his seatbelt, and finally spoke
As he dug through his bag, "do you mind if I smoke?"
He smelled like stale french fries, bad breath, and B.O.
"Go right ahead, Ronald- now where should we go?"
He broke down and said through a torrent of tears,
"The Grimace and I- we were lovers for years..
He suddenly dropped me, as neat as you please
Then he ran off to Vegas with Mayor McCheese!
I'm heading there now with this gun and this knife
And I'm planning to kill them, then take my own life!"
I realized that he was in need of a friend..
"No! You don't deserve such a terrible end!
Remember those arches, remember your pride!
Remember those hamburger lovers worldwide!
Remember the food and the folks and the fun!
Remember! Now give me the knife and the gun!
He placed a Beretta and blade on the dash
I said, "when we stop, I'll throw those in the trash!
Now listen up, man- here is what I have found:
Do you want to get even? Then quickly rebound!
I've got a good friend, whom you really must meet
His name is Bob's Big Boy- he's handsome and sweet
I'll give him a call when he gets off at eight
I'll tell him about you, and set up a date"
And Ronald said, "thank you for all you have done"
I replied, "it's no problem. Don't kill anyone!
Now look, over there- golden arches! Let's stop"
And he laughed, "are you kidding? I don't eat that slop!"
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| "The Ballad of Ronald McDonald" | Login/Create an Account | 6 |
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Re: The Ballad of Ronald McDonald
(Score: 1 )
by sedubah on Monday, February 20, 2012 (15:29:56) |
Ooooooh!
interesting subject matter. well done with your rhymes
sedubah
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Re: The Ballad of Ronald McDonald
(Score: 1 )
by AsIf on Tuesday, February 21, 2012 (15:03:44) |
Thank you for taking the time, sedubah.
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Re: The Ballad of Ronald McDonald
(Score: 1 )
by sportytrackgirl on Monday, February 20, 2012 (18:46:23) |
As a McDonald's worker for 3 years this caught my eye, thanks for the laughs and great rhymes. I don't eat that slop either!
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Re: The Ballad of Ronald McDonald
(Score: 1 )
by AsIf on Tuesday, February 21, 2012 (15:04:32) |
Me either!
Thanks for your commentary and sense of humor.
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Re: The Ballad of Ronald McDonald
(Score: 1 )
by rondo on Wednesday, February 22, 2012 (13:51:37) |
a clever injoyable read...peace
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Re: The Ballad of Ronald McDonald
(Score: 1 )
by AsIf on Thursday, February 23, 2012 (09:22:10) |
I am glad you like it. Peace back at you.
Added on: 20-Feb-2012 | Hits: 256 |
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