I really wish I wouldn't...

I woke up without sleep this morning.
But man, I really wish I didn't.
Got up, got ready, then went to work.
But man, I really wish I didn't.

I never was the religious type.
I've denied His existence, in fact.
But I found myself in prayer today.
For something good, to bring my life back.

I have always tried, lived, laughed and loved.
Never breaking from on my own terms.
Promising never to lose control.
I have had my fill of eating worms.

But now I find myself with a choice.
And my heart feels too heavy to touch.
No matter what it is I choose now.
The sacrifice might just be too much.

I find it hard to breathe in sometimes.
With all of this overexposure.
I have felt like this just once before.
It brings me much closer to closure.

But I've made friends with my own shadow.
Found peace when silence calls me by name.
Quiet reflection in my own skin.
Everything just turns out the same.

There's nothing about it I can do.
I just have to let these things take place.
That doesn't mean I have to like it.
Just means I can't look me in the face.

I would rather suffer on my own.
Than be a burden to anyone.
I will always do what I have to.
Because when I call, nobody comes.

The choice has been made, set firm in stone.
No turning back, no regret, no fear.
It did not work out as intended.
Maybe next time it'll be my year.

I'll wake up without sleep tomorrow,
But man, I really wish I wouldn't.
I'll get up, get ready, go to work.
But man, I really wish I wouldn't…