The Pain is Nothing

I sit alone, crouching in the emptiness of night
My fingers tremble, grasping tight to dull silver
The metal glints in my teary eyes, reflecting lingering loneliness
My mourning does little to fill the hole that bandages cover so perfectly
My grief for all that never was grips me as my hands grip my blade
I hurt myself because I hate myself
The pain is nothing compared to the horrors that can’t be unseen
My wounds allow me to hide
Safe from my mind, hidden from the cruel world
Expressionless eyes yearn to fill a void
My scared shell now scarred
Eyes tearing, flesh tearing
The delicate surface violated once again, and this time at my own hand
Each layer separates exposing my vulnerability
Later, my deft fingers will tightly pull it closed
My skin and soul regaining their defenses
And I am left to clean up the mess