Dear Amy
I am too broken for a society who needs my life centered on production
And yet not broken enough to earn concern of the trauma-hungry masses
Who cannot see me if not to consume me.
I am too gay for a world built to spit out tidy little binary, nuclear families.
And yet not gay enough to have suffered the right to proudly queer
The way I always have.
I am too bad a mother to be the sun, moon, and stars I am expected to be for my child
And too good a mother to fall to the ground, trembling and spent
Though my mind groans {screams} in tired agony.
I am too fat to love my body, or feel comfortable in my clothes
And too skinny to "really understand fatphobia"
Though I have been washed in it until it's standards echo as my own.
I am too sick to live life juggling
This ever growing number of glass balls (with contents kept so cleanly isolated)
And sick enough to see that these balls I am to juggle in sharp disctinction from each other
Are killing me...
So where do I sit?
Not on one side
Or on the other
Not enough.
Too functional to have my disfunction supported.
And too disfunctional to thrive without support.
So brick by brick I must build a bridge.
My blood and tears,
The mortar between each stone I pluck
From this foundation I did not lay.
The foundation that built a world where-in
We, as we are, cannot ever be enough.
A world which feasts on pain and hunger,
And dances around the flames of my self loathing. {Dances eagerly in the flames of my self loathing}
And maybe... Hopefully...
By the time my blood is spent
And my tears have dried
This bridge will lay a path that takes us, not here... Or there...
But to each space inbetween.
Where simply being,
Is finally enough.
Because we *are* enough.
About this poem
After a heart felt and healing conversation with a friend. This unburdened itself from me. It's for every Amy
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Written on April 27, 2021
Submitted by vanessa_f on May 13, 2022
Modified on March 05, 2023
- 1:55 min read
- 4 Views
Quick analysis:
Scheme | AX B XX X XC B XX X DEF B XGF EX XXX X XH FD BCG XA DH H |
---|---|
Closest metre | Iambic hexameter |
Characters | 1,781 |
Words | 383 |
Stanzas | 20 |
Stanza Lengths | 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 3, 1, 3, 2, 3, 1, 2, 2, 3, 2, 2, 1 |
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"Dear Amy" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/127370/dear-amy>.
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