Two Blue Jays

two blue jays on the fence post
i take a drink
the clock reads 9:44
not enough time has passed
to gently shake your arm and tell you that the sun is waiting
instead i hear the somber sound of your breathing
whistling quietly just as those
two blue jays on the fence post
not three minutes have passed
the clock doesn’t tick fast enough
so i pick
pick
pick
at my nail beds
i know you hate when i do that
i wait until i hear you breathe from the back of your throat
so i know you can’t hear the quiet
pick
pick
pick
of my weathered fingers
finding new ways to crack and tear
two blue jays on the fence post
they sing their lunchtime lullaby
whilst i listen and stare at my bloody fingers
i should’ve put bandaids in the car
instead i use a shriveled up napkin
probably from McDonald’s
i bide my time
as the blood seeps through
my passenger seat has become a home for your restless head
sleep my dear
i will wait and watch these two blue jays