I sit with you in my heart
Daniel Millard 1976 (Medford, OR)
And so it seems I am a hospice worker
Something between us is dying
You are not here with me but I am grieving the loss all the same
This is my work to do, pre-emptively letting go
Letting go of how I wished things had been
Letting go of the "you" I wanted you to be
That was not fair of me and I am sorry that I had such trouble accepting you as you were
I love you mom
I thank you for what you gave me and also for what you failed to give
I am spinning it all into gold, becoming a powerful, creative soul
My therapist told me that my mom is lucky to have a son like me
I believed her and I smiled in my heart for two weeks at the thought and sentiment of it
You never became the mother that I thought I wanted
But you were exactly the mother that I needed in order to be the wonderful boy and great man that I am turning out to be
I did not say goodbye to you because as you always told me as a boy, "It's not goodbye", It's "see you later"
That felt like abandonment and bullshit at that time
And honestly, I feel like I have abandoned you now
Not out of revenge, those feelings have gone
It is a basic instinct, self-preservation
One day you will understand
My soul will embrace your soul
All will be well and good, having served our spiritual contracts
We shall be at peace
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Submitted by bakerbaker1976! on January 08, 2021
Modified on April 14, 2023
- 1:20 min read
- 22 Views
Quick analysis:
Scheme | A X X X X B A X X C B X X B A X X X X X C X X |
---|---|
Closest metre | Iambic heptameter |
Characters | 1,287 |
Words | 265 |
Stanzas | 23 |
Stanza Lengths | 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 |
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"I sit with you in my heart" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 12 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/60046/i-sit-with-you-in-my-heart>.
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