Analysis of My promise

Sometimes life hits so hard
That I can't even breathe.
The moment Iet my guard down,
I am once again brought to my knees.
I've always been the one,
To contemplate suicide.
Thankfully life still goes on,
Despite what I'm feeling inside.
I try to ignore my own self pity,
Because I don't matter.
I have many people who need me,
Who don't deserve their life to be shattered.
I pretend I'm not drowning in sorrow,
I have 3 kids and a list of reasons.
I've made mistakes, trust me I know,
But each day I do what needs to be done. Throw a paunch, it won't be the end,
I've did way worse to me.
I'm not one to pretend and no emotion will Ever be more important than my family.
My promise to all those I love and meet,
Is that I will always do all that I can.
I will find the hope and hold on,
 And I will live according to God's plan.