Analysis of In My Head

Fear is never afraid to rear its ugly head.
Putting my happiness to bed.
"Trust in God", they say to me,
Not knowing in the past He had forsaken me.
Not that a second chance is impossible, I know first hand, it is.
But I own me, and I was never His.
Might as well worship Satan since my head is always down.
Might as well be the butt of the joke, since I'm just a clown.
Why's it so hard to genuinely frown upside down?
It's me that negative energy constantly surrounds.
"It's totally doable to break the cycle,
But nobody cares enough to help you, Jason Michael"
The winds of change speak to me as they waft by my ear.
Kindling depression and fueling my fears.
Maybe in due time, this will all just go away.
Or, perhaps one day they'll reminisce about Jay...