Analysis of The Man Who Discovered The Use Of A Chair
Alfred Noyes 1880 (Wolverhampton) – 1958 (Isle of Wight)
The man who discovered the use of a chair,
_Odds--bobs--
What a wonderful man!_
He used to sit down on it, tearing his hair,
Till he thought of a highly original plan.
For years he had sat on his chair, like you,
_Quite--still!
But his looks were grim_
For he wished to be famous (as great men do)
And nobody ever would listen to him.
Now he went one night to a dinner of state
_Hear! hear!
In the proud Guildhall!_
And he sat on his chair, and he ate from a plate;
But nobody heard his opinions at all;
There were ten fat aldermen down for a speech
(_Grouse! Grouse!
What a dreary bird!_)
With five fair minutes allotted to each,
But never a moment for him to be heard.
But, each being ready to talk, I suppose,
_Order! Order!_
They cried, _for the Chair!_
And, much to their wonder, our friend arose
And fastened his eye on the eye of the Mayor.
'We have come,' he said, 'to the fourteenth course!
'_High--time,
for the Chair_,' he said.
Then, with both of his hands, and with all of his force,
He hurled his chair at the Lord Mayor's head.
It missed that head by the width of a hair.
_Gee--whizz!
What a horrible squeak!_
But it crashed through the big bay-window there
And smashed a bus into Wednesday week.
And the very next day, in the decorous Times
(_Great--Guns--
How the headlines ran!_)
In spite of the kings and the wars and the crimes,
There were five full columns about that man.
Oh, if you get dizzy when authors write
(_My stars!
And you very well may!_)
That white is black and that black is white,
You should sit, quite still, in your chair and say:
It is easy enough to be famous now,
(_Puff--Puff!
How the trumpets blare!_)
Provided, of course, that you don't care how,
Like the man who discovered the use of a chair.
Scheme | ABCACDEFDF GXEGX HBGHX BAABX BFIBI ABJAJ BBCBC KBFKB CXAXA |
---|---|
Poetic Form | Tetractys (46%) |
Metre | 01101001101 11 101001 11111111011 111101001001 1111111111 11 11101 11111101111 011011011 11111101011 11 0011 011111011101 111101011 10111001101 11 10101 1111001011 11001011111 11101011101 11 11101 01111010101 010111011010 1111110111 11 10111 111111011111 1111101101 1111101101 11 101001 1111011101 010101101 001011001001 11 1011 01101001001 1011100111 1111101101 11 011011 111101111 1111101101 11100111101 11 10101 0101111111 101101001101 |
Closest metre | Iambic tetrameter |
Characters | 1,701 |
Words | 342 |
Sentences | 30 |
Stanzas | 9 |
Stanza Lengths | 10, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5 |
Lines Amount | 50 |
Letters per line (avg) | 26 |
Words per line (avg) | 7 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 146 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 36 |
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Submitted on May 13, 2011
Modified on March 05, 2023
- 1:42 min read
- 141 Views
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