Analysis of 5:50 am

it is not that I want to die
it is just that sometimes
hidden by the darkness of night
I think about what your reaction may be
if one day I ceased to exist
it is not that I want to die
it is just that sometimes
I get so exhausted
I wish I could be a bear in winter
and hibernate my problems away
it is not that I want to die
it is just that sometimes
I get sick and tired of feeling numb
so I listen to the playlist I made for us
hoping it will help me feel something anything
it is not that I want to die
it is just that every time I imagine you with him
looking at him
telling him all the empty promises you used to say to me
letting him take you home the way I want to
every time I get physically ill
that I wish I were dead