Analysis of My Struggle

I’m struggling! I really don’t know where to go from here!
How do I go from acknowledging my mistake to building trust
She says I’ve been forgiven. I don’t feel it, though.
! know I hurt her, but how do I make amends?
When you’ve scarred someone and caused them trauma,
How can you possible make up for cheating?
It almost doesn’t matter if they forgive you or not,
Because I’ll never forgive myself.
The effect that this hurt has had on her is my greatest mistake.
This woman has been my greatest love and my greatest heartbreak.
Can hurt be subjective, does one person’s hurt mean more than the others?
Just because she hasn’t cheated, does that mean the hurt she caused is meaningless?
I am just a man that can admit he was wrong
And al I want is to create an environment for this woman and I
To love each other the way we each deserve to be loved.