Analysis of Sightings. @ 1959. Oh the horror…

Did you see it/him?
Half hour back
Greenish gray thing.
Passed
By our house on Queens Ave.
Kicked through garage siding..
Crash bang with a bunch of tools.
Some borrowed from Ned Wilson. Oops.
Smashed through opposite wall.
Easily.

Once outside he provoked
Our dog Wonders to get
Noisy and mean.
A German wolfhound.
Two years grown now.
The Creature made strange moaning
Mewing sounds. Buzzing too.
Like locust wings.
Then Wonders gave a
Pathetic yelping resignation. Silenced.

Out the front, flashers
Red and blue, Cruiser.
Probably Constable Trusty.
(Two nights ago
He shook up Randy’s routine
The reputed heroine dealer
In the neighbourhood.)
Everybody knew.

Except old Mrs Keester.
She still saw him as the buck-toothed
Pimpled pre-teen who always
Loved her candy bags
And popcorn caramel balls.
At Hallowe’en.
Cut her lawn too.
Three bucks a shot.

“Turn on the radio, Stewie
Get some idea of this shit
Of possible explanations…”
Interference……. #%*$$4@#
“Reports are coming in
About strange and powerful
Visitors, origins unknown.
Destructive powers and
Ill will manifested
Many a dinted, busted, torn location.
Haphazard fires, alarms.
Impossible traffic response.

Phone in what you see or suspect.
1-800-592-0983. Free of charge.
Please no knock-knock jokes.
Or fake farting sounds.
Our Operators deserve better.
Than that.

As expected, all this activity
Pre-empts Margie’s Call-in for Lovers
in the Midwest.
Next night of chit-chat postponed.
Indefinitely. Sorry kids.

This time tomorrow
Perhaps friends…we are at War.
Now a commercial message from
Brylcream. A little dab
Will do ya. She’ll love
To run her fingers through your hair.
Yah-dada-DAH. Oh yeah.