Analysis of From the Deep



The sun sets a bit differently in the middle of the ocean.
For a moment,it turns red and looks like fire dancing forever in motion.
The sound of waves crashing all around me and sounds of birds above gawk.
Then I swear I caught a shadow cast somewhere afar.
My eyes must be playing tricks and it's just a mirage
I saw a fin,of course it's a fish what sort of drugs was I seemingly on?

She began to sing an unknown tune id never heard before.She sang it with the most beautiful voice and with it I was most definitely in love.
The closer she swam to me,the closer overboard I leaned.
My safety at this point seemed a bit loose and I was relieved
Now I could see her clear.Alas! she's so much more than just a fish.
She had the perfect complection and skin that looked as smoothe as a clouds edge.

Her lips looked as velvet cake I couldn't wait for it to touch my lips.
Her voice paraded through my ears and id never felt safer
Her eyes were blue as diamonds I felt no immediate danger.

The closer she got,the safer I felt and if you've already guessed it,yes,I was under a spell.I should be upset I'll never see another sunrise or that I was lured in and tricked by a treacherous smile.

Maybe even in death the Sirens magic consumed my spirit but I don't mind.No matter what you think it was the best way to die

Oh how I love to set back on the clouds sometimes and of her ill dream.How sometimes I wish she could trade those fis for a pair of wings and be up here with me.although,one thing I remember,I wouldn't mind her to keep,would be her perly white molars,those damned razor sharp teeth.


Scheme AAXXXX XXXXX XBB X X X
Poetic Form
Metre 0110110000101010 101110111010010010 01111010110111011 11111011101 1111101011001 110111011111111001 10111101111011111011001011111100001 0101111101011 110111101101101 11110111111101 1100110111111011 01111011101111111 010101110110110 0101110111010010 010111011011010111100111011101010111111001101001 10100101010011101111101111101111 11111111010101011011111111101110111111111010111011111011
Characters 1,605
Words 346
Sentences 20
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 6, 5, 3, 1, 1, 1
Lines Amount 17
Letters per line (avg) 74
Words per line (avg) 18
Letters per stanza (avg) 208
Words per stanza (avg) 51

About this poem

A young man falls in love and perel with a creature from the sea

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Written on November 29, 2023

Submitted by jayw.27428 on November 29, 2023

1:46 min read
6

Jay Bitters

Natural born writer since I was a kid more…

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