Analysis of Santa Goes Bankrupt
Santa's not coming on the 25th, I promise you that,
He's much too busy eating snacks,
Well, how do you think he got so fat,
He can't fit through the chimney, until skinny, he's dieting and won't be back;
So make no noise little girls and boys,
Until Santa lose some weight, when you awake there shall be no toys,
The reindeers tried, but Santa got too big for them to fly,
Donner has arthritis, comet and cupid have weak bones,
You know Rudolph is strong and smart but can't do it alone,
So maybe next year, he'll give you holiday cheer,
But he's still eating Thanksgiving dinner all while drinking a beer,
Mrs Clause ain't no better, she's drinking and won't knit the elves a Christmas Sweater,
So Prancer and Dancer decided to wear red & green leather,
Vixen and Blixten are boycotting Christmas altogether,
So they all vacated the North Pole for blue skies and warm weather,
The truth is; Santa's not on a diet & has not gained weight,
He still fat, and loves cookies and snacks,
He's been giving and giving your children for years, but this year, we all need to give back,
Santa has gone bankrupt and his Toy money is gone,
He tried to get a loan, Ms Clause earrings he even tried to pawn,
For weeks the Reindeers had no food to eat,
Some reluctantly decided to leave and started foraging,
With no heat for weeks, the elves left the North Pole,
Traded the winter cold, and met up with Homer,
in Springfield and got drinks at Moe's,
Don't hate the messenger, this is how the story goes,
So there will be no more Christmas trees, Carolers, Presents or Gifts,
This years Christmas is undergoing A major metamorphosis,
Every year Santa supplies your kids with what they want and wish,
Now Santa's pockets is dry and can use a forklift,
So let them cry let them ask why let them beg and plead,
Santa said hell no to spoiled milk and hard chocolate chip cookies,
Y'all want gifts, oh please, so much have been given with ease,
Do y'all ever stop to ask Saint Nick is there anything that he needs.
Scheme | ABACDDXXX EEFFFF XBCGGXXXFBX XXXXXHHX |
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Poetic Form | |
Metre | 10110101111011 11110101 111111111 1111010011011000111 111110101 0110111110111111 0111101111111 10101010010111 11101101111101 11011111101 111101010111001 10111101100110101010 11001010111110 100111010010 1110100111110110 01110110101111 111011001 111001011011111111111 1011100111011 1111011110110111 110111111 101001011010100 11111011011 100101011110 0101111 1101001110101 11111110111011 111010100100100 1001100111111101 110101101101 1111111111101 101111110110110 111111111011 110111111110111 |
Closest metre | Iambic heptameter |
Characters | 2,006 |
Words | 405 |
Sentences | 1 |
Stanzas | 4 |
Stanza Lengths | 9, 6, 11, 8 |
Lines Amount | 34 |
Letters per line (avg) | 46 |
Words per line (avg) | 11 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 388 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 93 |
About this poem
This is a snippet of a potential play turned poetry. It's just my Warped, Unorthodox, Humorous take on Christmas. I hope everyone who Celebrates have an extraordinary holiday as well as those who don't.
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"Santa Goes Bankrupt" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/176407/santa-goes-bankrupt>.
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