Analysis of Santa Goes Bankrupt
Santa's not coming on the 25th, I promise you that,
He's much too busy eating snacks,
Well, how do you think he got so fat,
He can't fit through the chimney, until skinny, he's dieting and won't be back,
So make no noise little girls and boys,
Until Santa lose some weight, when you awake, there will be no toys,
The Reindeers tried but Santa got too big for them to fly,
Donner has arthritis and comet and cupid have weak bones,
Rudolph is strong and smart but can't do it alone,
So maybe next year he'll give you Holiday Cheer,
Santa's still eating Thanksgiving Turkey all while drinking A beer,
Mrs Clause ain't no better, she's drinking and won't knit the elves a new Christmas sweater,
So Prancer and Dancer decided to wear red and green leather,
Vixen and Blixten are boycotting Christmas altogether,
So they all vacated the North Pole for blue skies and warm weather,
The truth is; Santa's not on a diet and hasn't gained weight,
Although he's still fat, and loves cookies and snacks,
He's been giving and giving y'all for years but this year we all need to give back,
Santa's has gone bankrupt and all his toy money is gone,
He tried to get a loan, Mrs Clause earrings he even tried to pawn,
The Reindeers were hungry and had no food to eat,
Some Reindeers reluctantly left and decided on foraging
With no heat for weeks, the Elves could no longer take the cold,
They met with Homer in Springfield and all got drinks at Moe's,
Don't hate the messenger when this is how the story goes,
So, there will be no more Christmas trees, Carolers, Presents or Gifts,
This years Christmas is undergoing A major metamorphosis,
Every year Santa supplies your kids with all they want and wish
Now Santa's pockets are dry and could use a fork lift
So let them cry let them ask why, let them beg and plead,
Santa said hell no to your spoiled milk and your hard chocolate chip cookies,
Y'all want gifts oh please, so much have been giving with ease,
Do y'all ever stop to ask Saint Nick is there anything that he needs.
Scheme | ABACDD XXXEEFFFF XBCGGXXXBX XXXXXHHX |
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Poetic Form | |
Metre | 10110101111011 11110101 111111111 1111010011011000111 111110101 0110111110111111 0111101111111 101010010010111 101101111101 11011111101 101101010111001 101111011001101011010 110010101110110 100111010010 1110100111110110 011101101001011 1111011001 111001011111111111 10111001111011 11110110110110111 01010011111 11010010101100 11111011110101 1111001011111 11010011110101 11111110111011 111010100100100 1001100111111101 1101011011011 1111111111101 10111111101110110 111111111011 110111111110111 |
Closest metre | Iambic heptameter |
Characters | 2,023 |
Words | 407 |
Sentences | 2 |
Stanzas | 4 |
Stanza Lengths | 6, 9, 10, 8 |
Lines Amount | 33 |
Letters per line (avg) | 48 |
Words per line (avg) | 11 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 393 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 93 |
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"Santa Goes Bankrupt" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/178215/santa-goes-bankrupt>.
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